Ranma and Akane's Date Pt 1
by Nocturnis
Summary: This is part three of my twelve-part year of evil. You have also probably noticed that my stories tend to evolve the characters and allow them to grow. The truth is that even though I am a fan of Ranma I found after a while that the stories started to fall into a repetive circle. You should know that this is actually in old story so some of the western references might be dated.
1. Chapter 1

Going note to readers: This is part three of my twelve-part year of evil. If you have read the two previous parts you will know that it is the story about a yearly visit from a demon named Akuma. You have also probably noticed that my stories tend to evolve the characters and allow them to grow. The truth is that even though I am a fan of Ranma I found after a while that the stories were tending to repeat themselves. How long are those students going to stay in school? Shouldn't they have graduated be now? So from this point the outcome of Ranma in my storyline will be very different.

Warning: The tone of this story might be very dark as the story evolves so does the writing theme (Don't worry no hentai I promise). But the stories will be more realistic and hopefully more enjoyable. This story takes place roughly a month after Happosai's Bargain

Also I should note that this note is the most previous as this story was written some years ago and has been collecting cyber dust until now so some western references and other manga cameos might be dated.

Ranma 1/2

Ranma's and Akane's date

Akuma watched the sun rise over of the Tokyo suburb of Nerima from his usual tree branch and smiled. He liked this town it had many entertaining people.

In the two months he had been here he has witnessed screwed up love triangles, Jusenkyo cursed victims, heartbreak, and of course old Happi. Even better since he arrived he got to have fun by defeating a wrinkly Amazon prune, torture the hell out of old Happi, shattered Soun's faith, and most of all, met and got into partnership with Nabiki Tendo.

**"Yep it doesn't get much better then this."** Magically a contract appeared out of nowhere and ended up in his hand. **"And thanks to old Happi I get to stay here for a year."** He was about to go visit his new play toys (minus Nabiki) at the Tendo dojo when someone caught his eye. It was a lone solitary figure wearing a huge backpack with a red parasol strapped onto the top of it. He was wearing a yellow T-shirt and green training pants. The figure kept his long hair black hair out of his eyes with a tiger-striped yellow bandana. Ryoga Hibiki had finally returned to Nerima.

"Finally, The Ryoga has come back to Nerima." he said. He then shook his head. "Man I should have never wandered into that WWF event; well anyway I hope Akane likes these souvenirs." His imagination found its way into Akane's bedroom. He pictured himself alone with her. "Oh Ryoga, They're beautiful. You are so sweet thank you." For a long minute they would stare into each other's eyes then awkwardly, they'll draw their lips closer. Her beautiful eyes started to suddenly turn red and square.

Bam!

Ryoga found his face getting well acquainted with red a book. He fell backwards from the impact of the book.

**"I am so sorry."** Ryoga heard a scratchy voice say. Removing the book from his face Ryoga looked up to see a red haired young man looking down at him.

**"Please sir let me help you up."** Ryoga allowed the scratchy voiced young man to help him up. **"Are you all right I was up in the tree reading my book when it fell out of my hands; and well you know the rest." **Ryoga looked at the book in his other hand it was all red except for one word in black spooky letters.

"What's F au st?" Ryoga asked giving back the book to the red haired stranger.

**"It's a comedy."** the stranger answered taking his book back**. "So where were you off to before you were Fausted?" **

"I was heading to the Tendo dojo." Ryoga shrugged off the injury.

**"Ah are you friend of Ranma's?" **

"You know Ranma Saotome?"

**"We've met. In fact, I'm in a partnership with his soon-to-be sister-in law." **

"What do you mean soon-to-be?"

**"Oh didn't you hear? Ranma and Akane have been given the Anything-Goes School of Martial Arts Dojo." **

"What! Akane and Ranma are already married? He began to imagine himself as P-Chan being thrown out with the trash. Starving and being chased by hungry pandas pop, the stranger interrupted.

**"No, no, not yet, they've just inherited the dojo while both the parents are away on their training journey. Wow, I can just picture it: the sexual tension between those two building up for a least a year, and now there is no parental supervision for who-knows how long. I wouldn't be surprised if Ranma was leaving Akane's room every morning, if you know what I mean?" **He insinuated nudging Ryoga with his shoulder. Ryoga pushed Akuma away.

"What do you mean both parents are on a training journey? How could they just leave Akane with Ranma like that?"

**"Well that's a real long story Mr. Ah, Mr.-"**

"Hibiki, Ryoga Hibiki." Ryoga said gritting his teeth in rage at the thought of Ranma being alone with Akane for a whole month.

_**Oh great just what this place needs**_ _**another male suitor for Akane. What the hell could all these idiots see in that man-trapped-in-a-flat chested woman's body?**_ Akuma thought. He looked at Ryoga trying to control himself and a smiled formed on his face. Ryoga saw the small set of fangs and couldn't help but ask.

"Are we related by any chance?" Akuma couldn't help but laugh as he pictured himself in Ryoga's get up.

_**Especially wearing that ridiculous headband with my horns exposed! **_Akuma thought. **"I sincerely doubt it. None of my family is from Japan per se. Besides I spent my younger years growing up in Canada, eh?"** Akuma answered finally able to hold back his giggles**. "Forgive me Ryoga, my name is Akuma."**

Ryoga blinked for a minute then started laughing picturing one of his aunts giving birth to Akuma Hibiki.

"Are you serious your parents actually named you Devil?"

**"No actually I had to earn this name."** Akuma responded annoyed at Ryoga. Hearing the warning in Akuma's voice Ryoga stopped laughing and started to wonder how a child earns the Japanese word for devil as a name.

**"Anyway weren't you on your way somewhere?"**

"That's right! I have to get to the Tendo Dojo before Ranma and Akane do something she'll regret!" Hearing this Akuma smiled again except this time is upper lip twitched. If Ryoga knew what that meant he would've ran screaming to the mountains, for this was Akuma's I am thinking of a plan to amuse myself at your expense smile.

**"Well actually I was planning on visiting my partner anyway. Why don't I join you, that way you can tell me how long you've had the hots for Akane."**

Ryoga blinked in shock and was about to say something to Ranma's friend. **"Relax I'm not going to try to pummel you in fact maybe I can help you. Tell you what, we'll walk to the dojo and you can tell me all about your love for Akane. Who knows, maybe I can get you to crazy kids alone in the same room for a while."**

The entire saga of Ryoga was told (except parts involving a certain black piglet) while the two walked to the dojo.

**"So you fell in love with Akane after she thanked you for stopping a prowler?"** Akuma asked trying to sound like he believed everything he was told.

"Yeah well he was lucky that I didn't catch him." Ryoga stated forming a battle pose.

**"So why are you spending most of your time alone while Akane and Ranma are possibly exploring other styles of Anything-Goes Arts?"**

Ryoga turned his head away from Akuma and blushed at what he thought Akuma was implying. He then turned his head to face him.

"Why are you offering to help me?" Ryoga asked suspicious (and rightfully so) of Akuma's motives.

**"It's been a slow month and I'm bored."** Akuma said looking up at the sky. **"Don't get me wrong Ryoga, I like Ranma but he is an idiot when it comes to women. If I had three attractive women fighting for a piece of me,"** he looked down at his waist and smiled as he said continued, **"I would figure out a way to involve us all in a four way Indiscriminate Grappling Match." **_Man, this guy is a major pervert! _Ryoga thought clapping his forehead. **"Besides you seem more like Akane's type."** Akuma continued. Ryoga beamed as he heard Akuma's last statement.

"Really you think so?" Ryoga asked, lost doggie look in his eyes.

**"Yeah you two to seem to have a lot more in common,"** _**Yeah you're both really thick as bricks**_. Akuma thought to himself. **"Yep I sincerely do but you didn't answer my question. If you want my help I need to know why you're always alone."** Ryoga slowly started telling Akuma about his untreatable Directional Turrets Syndrome. This was a genetic trait inherited by the Hibiki family through out the generations. _**That would explain how a thirty-minute walk could last an hour and a half.**_ Akuma thought to himself while suddenly stepping in front of Ryoga and taking the lead. **"I think I should lead the way for awhile if you don't mind Ryoga,"** Ryoga anxious to get to the Tendo dojo gladly lets Akuma take the lead. _**Finally we can make it to the dojo and I can see how much I can make you suffer for insulting a demon's title.**_

Well what are you waiting for? Open the door; the duck spoke to Ranma once again.

"I'm just getting ready alright?" Ranma replied annoyed at the wooden duck.

You've had a whole month to get ready, a month of being insulted and challenged by a wooden duck hanging on your Fiancé's door.

"All right, all right, I'm going to do it." Ranma said breathing heavy as he reached for the doorknob.

"Do what Ranma?" A familiar female voice asked him. He turned around to see Akane wearing nothing but a towel. Ranma quickly turned his back to her before Akane could see his lower body's reaction to the sight of her dripping wet.

"Ah I was just," He looked at the wooden duck for guidance but it just hung there looking wooden (much like Ranma's lower body part). He quickly adjusted himself and turned to face Akane.

_You look beautiful this morning Akane. I must have been insane to say you're un-cute. Yeah that's what I should say. _Ranma thought to himself as his eyes met hers. He froze as Akane looked at him curiously.

"Well Ranma what were you going to do?" Akane asked again. She sounded just a little annoyed to be standing outside her room in nothing but a towel. Stunned Ranma said the first thing that came to his head.

"Wow Akane you smell great." Akane blinked at the strange compliment

"I just got out of the tub," she said looking at Ranma with a queer look.

"Tub yeah good idea I think I should go into the tub too." Ranma said inching his way around her. "You know, so I can smell as good as you." Akane opened her bedroom door.

"Okay Ranma I'll just stay in my room so I don't attack your girl form." She said as she stepped into her room. "Let me know when you're a guy again okay?

"Sure I'll let you know when I'm a great smelling guy again," he said as Akane shut her door. She couldn't help but giggle at Ranma's behavior in the last month_. He's gotten stranger but at the same time he's also become sweeter_.

Dork Ranma heard the duck criticize him as he headed towards the bathing area.

Kasumi was cooking a delightful breakfast as usual when Akane entered the kitchen. "Oh good morning Akane did you sleep well?"

"Like a baby." she said with a pleasant smile on her face.

"Hello Akane." Ryoga said entering without knocking as usual. It wasn't that Ryoga was being rude. In fact Ryoga was one of the nicer guys the Tendo sisters ever met. No, it was simply because Ryoga just could never find the front door of the dojo and usually ended coming in through a window.

"Why hello Ryoga this is a nice surprise." Akane said offering Ryoga a seat at the table as Kasumi prepared another plate.

"Speaking of surprises, I ran into a guy who says he's a friend of Ranma's." Ryoga said sitting down.

"Really who," Akane responded as she sat down next to him. As if in answer to her question the doorbell suddenly rang. "Excuse me a minute Ryoga I have to answer that. As usual Kasumi was the first at the door.

"Oh hello Akuma," Kasumi said in a friendly voice completely free of fear. Akane couldn't believe her eyes but there he was wearing the same black jacket and oversized baseball cap.

"Stupid duck," Ranma's girl form mumbled as she filled the tub with hot water. "What does it know anyway?" She said about to take off her towel. Her grumbling was interrupted by a panicked yell from downstairs: "Ranma!" She quickly ran out of the bathroom. _That was Akane's voice but what could scare Akane so..._ As she turned the corner and saw their visitor, her question was answered.

"Akuma." Ranma said as menacingly as she could.

**"Hello Ranma how have you been?"** Ranma ignored the false sincerity coming out of the demon's lips. He was about to ask what Akuma wanted when he heard Akane yell again. Only this time it wasn't a yell of fear but of insane hatred

"Ranma!" He jumped back to avoid the mallet that magically appeared in Akane's hand. _Oh no I forgot about the anti-saka something root that's affecting her_ Ranma thought to her-self as she ran back to the tub of hot water.

Ryoga found his way out of the kitchen just in time to seen an enraged Akane chasing the female Ranma while screaming:

"Get back here Ranma and take it like a man." Bewildered, Ryoga watched.

"Now what did Ranma do to Akane to piss her off this much?" Ryoga mussed out loud.

**"You want a list?"** Akuma asked sarcastically as he somehow appeared next to Ryoga. While the two men were talking, Ranma was running for her life.

_Almost there;_ she thought as she stopped at the bathroom entrance. Unfortunately it gave Akane more then enough time to charge at her. Instinctively jumping back her foot slipped on the water that was slowly overflowing in the tub that Ranma forgot about. Trying to avoid falling into the tub Ranma grabbed at anything he could including; Akane. Splash they both fell into the tub. Akane found her anger subsiding as Ranma turned back into a young man.

"Oh Ranma I'm so sor..." The clicking of a camera interrupted her apology. They both looked over the tub to see Nabiki standing at the door taking pictures. The couple didn't understand for a second why she was taking pictures until they both looked down at each other. Akane's clothes were soaked thru and plastered against her skin. She was also lying down on top of naked Ranma. Both of his hands were on her breasts holding on for support. _All right Akane stay calm this was an accident he, wait a minute this soap is kind of hard._ A teardrop formed above her head as she found her hand on Ranma's manhood.

"Yeah baby, there's the money shot." Nabiki commented taking more pictures.

"Knock it off Nabiki!" The two-yelled simultaneously while trying to straighten out in the tub. Ranma surprised Akane by suddenly standing up knocking her in a sitting position facing his hard soap.

"Wow you two must really be glad that the daddies' are gone!" Nabiki commented taking more pictures.

Fuming Akane pushed Ranma back down and climbed out of the near empty tub. _Uh oh perhaps I went too far,_ Nabiki thought as she weighed her options. _But I couldn't miss an opportunity like this especially with the old pervert being gone. My enterprises are going down to an all-new low._

"Akane stop." Ranma calmly said grabbing a towel.

"What? Ranma are you crazy she's gone to far this time!"

"We can discuss this with her later after she talks with her business partner." Ranma stated. Nabiki eyes shot wide open.

"Business Partner, You mean..."

"Yep, Akuma,s here." Nabiki went silent and walked out of the bathroom as the couple grinned at her.

"Nabiki doesn't like having to split her profits and Akuma isn't doing much for her business interests." Akane said gleefully.

"Nope," Ranma agreed carefully walking behind Akane but keeping within poking distance. "So was it good for you?" He said smiling making the best of a bad situation. Akane started to giggle when a familiar voice interrupted them.

"Ranma how dare you?" Ryoga's voice echoed in the bathroom as he prepared to fight with his enemy since junior high school.

"Oh knock it off Ryoga, unless you really want to risk Ranma losing his towel in battle." Akane said tiring of stupid misunderstandings. "Now go back to the kitchen and I'll explain everything." Ryoga stared at Akane in confusion

"But Akane"

"Out." she said pointing to the entrance. Ryoga sulked away. Akane turned to Ranma. "Maybe we should wait until were married before you get me that wet again." She left the bathroom to allow Ranma some privacy. As she walked down the hall she had the same thought Ranma did as he got changed_. What the hell was I doing just then?_

Nabiki quickly went in her room and shut the door. _Shit what the hell am I going to do? All right calm down Nabiki the last thing I want is Akuma seeing me afraid like this._ Here thoughts were interrupted by a knock on her door. She sighed and put on here best professional face determined not to show her fear to Akuma. She opened the door to find Akuma standing there with his cap in his hands his horns fully exposed.

**"Hello Miss Tendo may I come in for a couple of minutes?"** Nabiki let her new business partner inside her room.

"So what do you want now Akuma?" Nabiki asked trying to sound condescending and annoyed. Akuma sighed and looked at his human partner.

**"I imagine that business has been less than good for you."** Nabiki was about to protest but Akuma raised his hand to silence her**. "Please Miss Tendo with everything that has happened in the past two months your business ventures have been pretty much scraping the bottom of the bowl."** He then pulled out a list and held it up for Nabiki to see. She sat down on her bed and proceeded to read the list.

1. With her main customer (Kuno) obsessed with his pig-tailed girl Miss Tendo's picture business is almost non -existent.

2. Ranma is being extra careful not to be changed into a woman. Because of this new pictures of the pig-tailed girl are in short supply.

3. With Happosai gone and the Pervert Wards still up, her underwear retail racket has been stopped cold.

I estimate that Nabiki Tendo will be out of business in at least three more months.

Nabiki silently fumed as she read the list. She didn't know what made her angrier the fact that his projections were accurate. Even though she still had the prints of Ranma nude, they weren't going to last forever now that all of Ranma's fiancé's minus Akane had their own prints. No, what was worse was the reason for her businesses decline was standing in her room showing her these projections. This same person, who arrogantly allowed her to be his partner, wasn't even a person at all but a demon, and now this demon was muscling' her off her own turf. Her hands became fists.

"Do you think I'll go down without a fight?" Nabiki spoke softly but was sure Akuma could hear her.

**"No, no Miss Tendo you've misunderstood my intentions."** Akuma said shaking his hands in a warding position. Nabiki unclenched her fingers. Akuma sat next to her on the bed and looked straight at her. **"I want to make a new proposition."** Nabiki brow furrowed as she listened to Akuma proposal**. "How would you like to enter a new business venture and keep all the profits?"** Akuma said putting his hands on hers.

Whack!

The sound of her hand hitting his face filled her room as he fell on the floor.

"I'm not even remotely interested in becoming your sex slave." She yelled out angrily while looking for something heavy to hit him with.

**"My sex, No, no you didn't let me finish I mean that we sell something to the students of your school and you keep the money."** Akuma blurted out inching away from her. Nabiki raised her eyebrow in a show of skepticism.

"Now why would you let me keep all the profits from this endeavor?" Akuma slowly stood up and rubbed his face.

**"Because I don't need it, Trust me a couple thousand years of scheming gets you a pretty big retirement fund. I do this strictly for my amusement." **

"And what would this endeavor be?" Nabiki said walking closer to Akuma like a predator closing in on her prey. He smiled and leaned against her dresser

**"How many pictures do you have and how good is your dark room?**

It was the strangest conversation with Ryoga that Ranma ever took part in. The three of them talked for an hour (only because it took Ryoga twenty minutes to find the kitchen). Their were no punches thrown, no kicks blocked; just them telling Ryoga the story of Happosai's Bargain (minus the part that Akuma founded the Anything-Goes style of Martial Arts), over a cup of tea and some breakfast. Ranma couldn't help but be amazed as he watched Akane keep Ryoga under control with an intense look as she finished.

"He's really a demon?" Ryoga asked wide-eyed in utter amazement.

"Yep"

"Wow I thought he sounded like that because he smoked too much or something."

"You know so did I," Akane replied.

"So what do we do now?" Ryoga asked. "Fight,"

"Nah," Ranma replied. "I'm actually getting bored kicking your butt all the time."

"Ranma stop picking on poor Ryoga!" Akane quickly interjected hoping to avoid the possible destruction of the kitchen. "Besides Ranma we have to get to class soon."

"You're right Akane. Tomorrow is Saturday and I don't want to waste it on Ryoga."

"Ranma." Akane yelled warningly at him.

"All right all right I was only kidding. Yeesh." Ranma said as he raised his hands to hold her at bay. The clock on the wall informed them that it was time to go. Akane was the first out the door, as Ranma was about to leave he turned to Ryoga.

"See you later P-Chan."

**"So Miss Tendo tell me what you know about Ryoga."** Akuma requested as he accompanied his partner to school. She sighed not much liking the idea of sharing information without getting something in return.

"He's an old rival of Ranma's from junior high. He has a crush on Akane." She stated. "Why?"

**"There is a possibility that we can use him on our latest business endeavor."** Nabiki stared at Akuma then smiled. _This partnership might not be so bad after all. _

"What else do you want to know?" She asked pulling out her business notebook.

At the same time Ranma and Akane also found themselves thinking about their partnership.

_Was I really flirting with Akane?_ Ranma thought, discreetly looking at her. _Geez it's not like we haven't seen each other naked before, but did I really stiffen up when I had her chest hand holds? God Ranma get a grip on yourself, you're sounding like a trashy lemon novel._ His face went flush as he hopped up onto the fence rather then walk next to her and risk embarrassment. Akane barely noticed Ranma's hop onto the fence above for she was in deep thought.

_What the hell was I doing talking dirty to Ranma like that? Yeah sure he's well equipped below the waistline but still did I really want to? Jeez Akane no baka! Where is this Hentai thinking coming from? _She quickly glanced up at Ranma and found herself blushing.

"I think we lost Ryoga when we turned the corner."

"More likely he lost us." Ranma replied grateful for an end to the uncomfortable silence. Akane just nodded her head in silent agreement. Desperate to keep the silence at bay Ranma spoke up.

"So it's been awhile since we've seen the others you know; Mousse, Kuno, Kodachi, Ukyo and Shampoo." Akane responded by shrugging her shoulders and looking down at the sidewalk. She was trying hard to hide the red in her face until her thoughts became a little more general and less XXX. "Gee I wonder how they're doing."

Cologne wasn't surprised that Mousse was still sleeping; he didn't get home until late last night. She carefully looked into his room and saw the duck sleeping in his new pen. _You're not fooling me young man pretending to be a locked up duck. _Over the course of the month Cologne had tried locking up Mousse for his own good. Her concern for his welfare increased when she saw the rope burns on his wrists and she didn't even want to know why he came home one night wearing a purple leotard. But for every cage Cologne put the duck in somehow he ended up breaking out. _I'll bet it's that damn cap-wearing stranger. _Cologne thought to herself her brow furrowing. It was strange; even though she wanted Shampoo to marry Ranma she couldn't help but care for Mousse. Which was why she was concerned about these late night rendezvous with Kodachi. Of course she would never admit it; to do so would encourage Mousse to chase after Shampoo. _The poor boy can't help him-self. He's still under the influence of the Sakuratu root, though it serves him right._ This thought frustrated Cologne because it forced her to acknowledge that there was someone with more knowledge then her on Chinese Amazon History. _Only the stranger can cure Mousse and I haven't seen him since last month. _She left her vigil of the lovesick duck and went back to work.

"Where is that girl with the annoying laugh?" Shampoo said out loud in Mandarin. She was on the hunt for the woman who was pre-occupying Mousse's nights. She woke up that morning with one thought firm in her mind: kill Kodachi.

"Stupid annoying laugh girl make Shampoo spend too much time hunting instead of dating Ranma." She cursed in Japanese as she leaped from rooftop to rooftop. She already wasted most of the morning searching the Kuno household only to find an unmade bed with a pair of coke bottle glasses on the pillow.

"Shampoo so stupid." she said switching back in to her native tongue as she slapped her forehead, "Mu Shu will know where that annoying laugh girl is. He must know after mattress bouncing all night." The image made her retch. She headed back to the Cat Cafe a small devious smile playing on her lips.

Akane and Ranma ended up trading desks with their classmates so they could sit closer together then usual. Ranma found himself staring at Akane.

_Okay I'm only doing this so Akane can help me understand the lessons better, _he thought suddenly becoming self-conscious. He looked away from her to see if anyone was watching them. That was when he noticed that Ukyo's desk was empty. _I wonder where Ukyo-Chan is today. _He thought with some concern. For the last couple of months it seemed like Ukyo was avoiding him. Whenever he spotted her in class she just sat at her desk quietly. When he went to see her at the restaurant she was distant and quiet as she served him. He hoped she was okay she didn't seem the same since that whole love powder mess two months ago. _Like any of us have been? _Ranma thought to himself.

"Hello anybody home?" Ryoga asked as he found himself at Ukyo's.

"Jus keep yer pants on." he heard a familiar female voice slur. Ukyo stumbled out holding two half-empty bottles of imported beer.

"Ah itsh you Ryogu," she said sitting at a table. "Where closhed right nows." Ryoga approached Ukyo carefully.

"Have you been drinking Ukyo?" He asked as he sat down at her table. He looked across from her. She was still attractive even with her hair slightly in her face and her shirt un-tucked.

"Thish ishn't drinking, its inventory." she said taking a swig from a bottle.

"Oh okay." Ryoga said and started to get up.

"Yous shee I skipped shool today becus I had to count stuff.

"Uh huh," Ryoga muttered not really interested in her drunken ramblings.

"Lesh see 1,2,3,4 yup four peeples I destriid, sho one bottle for eash peeples." Tears started to form in her eyes seeing this stopped Ryoga from leaving. "I already finish the Jhackash, and Raman honeey noe I'm workin on Tofu and Kashumi." She took another swig and started crying. "I'm an evil bish I destroid lives for my shelfhness need." Ryoga found himself consoling Ukyo.

"There, there its okay, Look Ranma's fine okay and Kasumi looked okay this morning.

"Your jus shaying that because I'm cryng." a drunken Ukyo sniffled.

"No it's true. I was at their house this morning with Akuma."

"Whoos A Ku Ma?" Ukyo asked as she stopped sniffling.

"Well he's this guy who wears a baseball cap with a big A on it, but I found out later that he's actually a de-" His story was interrupted by Ukyo's snoring. He looked down to find her asleep on his chest. Gently he picked her up.

"Now where's her bedroom?" Ryoga asked as he carried her into the back.

Finally after taking the grand tour of Ukyo's he found her room. Carefully he put her down on the bed and turned her on her side. He gently covered her and turned to leave.

"Thanks Ryogu honey." she muttered. He stopped and turned to look at her.

_It might not be a good idea to leave her alone right now she could role over and risk choking. _Ryoga sighed as he sat in the corner and watched Ukyo sleep.

_My pig-tailed love where are you? It has been too long since I've seen you or heard from you._ Kuno sighed as he jotted his thoughts down in class. The upper classman had been worried ever since she disappeared two months ago while he was recovering from his injuries. _Saotome I know your behind this and soon you will face my wrath, _he thought to himself as he glowered at his desk.

In the same class Nabiki was pondering Akuma's new business proposal. _It isn't a bad idea I've got all the pictures I need and he said I could keep all the profits._ She found herself thinking about her new business partner. This mysterious stranger who appeared one day at her schoolyard and started selling Baka begones after returning all the panties Happosai stole to there rightful owners. Nabiki found herself annoyed at first with this young man who was muscling in on her turf. And later when it was revealed that he was demon she was terrified and surprisingly intrigued as well. _A demon I can't believe that I'm in a completely business only partnership with a demon._ As she got lost in thought her eyes widened and her cheeks turned a light red.

Finally the school bell rang allowing all the students freedom from their mundane classes but more importantly it allowed Nabiki to meet up with Akuma and for Ranma to meet up with Akane. Nabiki left her class and headed towards the arranged meeting place at the tennis courts.

"Akuma where are you, you demonic pain in the-"

**"Ahem I'm sorry Miss Tendo, were you looking for me?" **The demon said appearing behind her suddenly. Nabiki jumped.

"Will you quit doing that?"

**"Doing what?"**

"You know what, appearing behind everybody mysteriously. We get it, all right? You're a demon. You're spooky, and scary - ooh." Akuma stopped and blinked at Nabiki she had an annoyed look on her face. He chuckled to himself.

**"Sorry old habits are hard to break,"** he told her as he corrected himself. Nabiki accepted the apology and prepared to discuss business strategies with her new partner.

"So about the Baka begones it would be a lot more profitable if you removed them and let the old perv get his collection back. That way you can offer your services to them for a reasonable price." Akuma shook his head.

**"Forget it; do you have any idea how difficult it is to track down each owner using only their pheromones?"** A shocked look appeared on Nabiki's face.

"You mean you tracked all the owners down by sniffing their panties?"

**"Well how else did you except me to do it? Go door to door with a big sack and ask each victim? Excuse me miss are any of these panties yours?"**

_Great, so he's a panty-sniffing-demon business partner,_ Nabiki thought.

**"It isn't something I do everyday,"** he said trying to get the look of shock off Nabiki's face.

"Hey Nabiki, Akuma," Akane yelled to her sister. Nabiki turned to see Ranma and Akane running to her.

"Hello Akane." Nabiki said switching to her condescending tone of voice. Both Ranma and Akane looked at Akuma threatingly.

"Now what are you up to?" Ranma asked Akuma.

**"I'm sorry Ranma but that is between Miss Tendo and me."**

"Why you-"

**"However if you want to discuss curing Akane that can be arranged,"** Ten minutes later the four of them were heading to the Tendo dojo each having their own quiet moments.

_What is he up to know?_ Ranma thought to himself as he walked beside Akane. _He says he's willing to cure Akane but what price is he going to make me pay? Is it really worth it? _He looked at Akane_. Yeah I guess it is._

_Ranma has been acting strange for the last couple of months. I'm worried he hasn't insulted me in weeks. Can our parents be right - that Ranma and me could be a couple?_ Her face turned a light shade of red as she looked at her fiancé glowering at Akuma.

_Well this has certainly gotten interesting. Akuma's proposed pet project should indeed be very profitable indeed. But still he is a demon; which means his intentions could be less then sincere._ She looked at her partner just grinning as he walked with them home. _Intentions, what the hell am I thinking about? All he's been proposing is business? So why am I the one who thinking about sexual intentions?_

_Wow Nabiki's face is sure turning red. I hope she's feeling all right. _Ranma mentally observed as he watched Nabiki's face turn a light crimson.

_Look at him; that demon creep playing games with Nabiki like that. Ooh I wish I knew what his twisted brain is cooking up._ Akane pondered as she also began glowering at Akuma. She watched as he smiled exposing his fangs and began nodding his head back and forth slightly. _What could he be planning?_

Akuma just walked with them smiling the whole way while bobbing his head ever so slightly. _**Ya Pa Pa, Ya Pa Pa Hiro, Hiro Hie.**_

"Oh my head," Ukyo moaned as she rolled on to the floor.

"Well that's what you get for drinking them Canadian beers." The response startled Ukyo out of her hang over for a second. She looked over and saw Ryoga lying on his side next to her. "Do you know you mutter Ranma's name in your sleep?"

"Oh no I didn't, you didn't? You and I didn't?" Ukyo asked the pace of her voice increasing as she questioned Ryoga.

"Didn't what?" Ryoga asked a dumbfounded look on his face.

"What do you mean what? What else does a man and a woman do that causes them to wake up beside each other?"

"Get drunk and pass out on the floor?"

"Have sex you Jack Ass!" Ukyo yelled at Ryoga.

"What! You think that you, and I...?" Ryoga asked a small hentaish scenario playing in his mind.

"Cut that out!" Ukyo screamed popping Ryoga's thought bubble.

"I can't help it." Ryoga whined as Ukyo starting touching herself.

"My clothes are still on. Your clothes are still on. You mean you..." Ukyo looked at Ryoga as he rolled over on his back.

"You weren't in any condition to put yourself to bed." Ryoga said sighing as he turned to Ukyo. "Why does everyone assume that just because I wake up next to a woman I boinked her," Ukyo began to chuckle.

"I can't believe you said boinked."

"Why's that?" Ryoga asked a smile forming on his face.

"Well it's just that..."

"Yeah go on."

"Well normally you're adorably shy around that subject."

"Adorable? You find me adorable?" Ryoga asked with a surprised expression.

"Oh come on Ryoga Honey you're telling me no girl has ever called you adorable before, that's just hard to believe."

'Not when I'm human." he murmured.

"What did you say?"

"Nothing," Ryoga said turning on his back again and staring at the ceiling.

Ukyo rolled over and looked down at him.

"You know I don't know why you waste so much time going after Akane! She doesn't seem to appreciate all your good qualities."

"Like what?" Ryoga asked in a negative tone

"Well for starters you're a very nice guy, devoted, sensitive, strong, and cute." Ryoga looked up at her

"You think I'm cute?" he asked looking into her eyes. Ukyo turned away blushing.

"I mean hell yeah you're cute; which is why I don't understand why you bother with Akane when there are a lot of women looking for guys like you." She tried her best to hide her face as she blushed. His hand draped across her shoulder gently.

"Ranma doesn't deserve to have someone like you." He said as he stood up and prepared to go.

"Ryoga do you really mean that,"

"Of course I mean it," Ryoga said gently. "I mean come on you're attractive, smart, funny, generous, and caring. I'm surprised that the guys aren't knocking down your door." Ukyo rose to see Ryoga blushing. "Well uh anyway I should probably get going." He said quickly. She escorted him to the front door.

"Thank you Ryoga." she said and kissed him on the cheek. Ryoga turned a bright red.

"You're uh you're welcome." Ryoga responded as he headed for the front door as fast as he could. Bam Ukyo shook her head and giggled as Ryoga ran into the wall.

Two hours later Ryoga finally found his way outside; and started heading to the Tendo dojo. _Cute and adorable, wow_, he thought as he stopped at a window and looked at his reflection.

"You know she's right," he said sizing up his reflection. He closed his eyes took a deep breath and started strutting down the street. "Yeah I'm the man, how's it going ladies?" Ryoga swaggered filled with confidence.

Suddenly he found his clothes soaked and too big for him. He wanted to scream but all that came out was a little piggy squeal- BWEEE! He looked to see a familiar old lady with a bucket and ladle splashing water outside.

At the Tendo dojo everybody kept his or her eyes on Akuma, but Akuma noted that each one was looking at him differently.

Ranma was glowering at him intensely, watching his every move with vigilant scrutiny. Akane was shifting her eyes between himself and Nabiki. Her emotions shifted with her gaze; whenever she looked at Akuma it was fear and when she looked at Nabiki it turned to a look of concern. He turned his head to look at Nabiki. She had a look of confusion and uncertainty hidden behind a visage of professionalism.

**"Alright out with it. You guys have been staring at me all the way home. What? Did I grow a fourth horn or something?" **

"Funny I only count two." Ranma stated trying his best to sound snide.

**"That you can see,"** Akuma responded matching Ranma's snideness.

"Where's the third one?" Nabiki asked calmly.

"Nabiki!" Akane exclaimed in disbelief.

"What? I'm curious." She turned to see the look of shock on Ranma and Akane's face. She suddenly realized what they were thinking. "Oh," she said as her face went completely red. Everyone fell into an awkward silence.

_I wish something would interrupt this silence._ Akane thought when something caught her eye.

"P-Chan," At the mention of her pet's name Ranma turned to see the little black piglet with the tiger striped bandanna around his neck crawl his way into the living room. Akane scooped him up. "And where have you been?" Akane asked cuddling the black piglet. Akuma looked at the black piglet with a familiar bandanna around his neck. He suddenly appeared next to Ranma.

**"Why does Akane act like that around this P-Chan? Is he like her pet?"**

"Yeah but he doesn't hang around that much. Do you P-Chan?" Ranma said with a teasing tone of voice. The pig glowered at Ranma intensely.

"Ranma stop picking on poor P-Chan." Akane said defending her little pet.

**"So how come I didn't see this little guy the last time I was here?"** Akuma asked patting P-Chan on the head.

"He seems to disappear a lot." Nabiki added in wondering what Akuma was up to.

**"Really you don't say?"** Akuma asked taking a closer look at P-Chan's bandanna.

"Oh he's just a wondering piggy aren't you?" Akane said in an adoring voice as she hugged him.

**"Like a little piggy Ryoga."** Hearing Akuma mention his human alter ego P-Chan eyes filled with fear. Akuma grinned exposing his fangs as he saw the pig's reaction.

_Shit he knows._ Ranma thought to himself. _Now how do I stop Akuma from exposing Ryoga?_ But before Ranma could act Akuma simply shrugged his shoulders and smiled his upper lip twitching.

**"Well as interesting as this is, I think I should get going. There are a couple of things I need to do before I can cure you Akane."** Before anyone could stop him he left the living room and disappeared.

Later at the Cat Cafe Mousse once again found himself staring at the mysterious Akuma. For the past month this savior of love would help Mousse out of his cage so he could go after his beloved Sham- Hiss the sound of the hot water sizzling' his skin refocused Mousse's affection.

"It's you." They both heard an old angry voice behind him.

**"Hello stick monkey."** Cologne trembled angrily as she was called her disrespectful nickname.

"Old lady Cologne you know Akuma?" Mousse asked.

**"Don't worry Mousse; I won't let this witch convince you to marry Shampoo anymore. Take your stuff and go."** He turned his head back to Mousse.

**"I'm sure the Kuno manor has more than enough room to accommodate your needs."** He said winking at Mousse. Mousse smiled and prepared to leave.

"Stop Mousse, You are being bewitched but it isn't by me." She turned to look at the young man whose name she just learned. "Akuma is not your friend he's a demon."

"What?" Mousse shouted he turned towards Akuma. "Is this true? Are you..."

**"Yup I'm a visitor from the Demon Underworld."** Akuma answered taking off his cap. Mousse looked at the two horns and scratched his head in confusion.

**"I'm a Passion Demon Mousse. I specialize in making rather unique relationships work." **The two of them were interrupted by a familiar voice.

"Mousse, oh Mousse." a young Chinese voice was calling out.

**"Time to go,"** And before anyone could stop him Akuma grabbed Mousse and darted out of the Cat Cafe

"Great Grandma who was that?" Shampoo asked Cologne.

"His name is Akuma Shampoo dear, and he's nothing but bad news."

So how come the pig has no trouble getting inside this late to see her and your standing out here like a fool?

"Oh shut up duck." Ranma said quietly as he looked at Akane's door. He sighed and walked away. Everyone was asleep except for him.

"Might as well get some sleep." he muttered. Akuma was waiting for him when he got to his room.

"Oh no what do you want?" he asked the demon as he rubbed his eyes. The demon pulled a vial of red powder out of his pocket.

**"I want you to take Akane out on a date." **

"What? Ranma asked blinking his eyes.

**"I want you to take Akane out on a nice date. And of course I'll cure her before you two leave. Also I want you to take her some place were you two won't be interrupted by your other love interests. That means no Ukyo's and definitely no Cat Café."** Ranma was still stunned at Akuma's request

"Why, what's in it for you?"

**"Do you want me to undo the spell or don't you?" **Akuma asked crossing his arms

"All right say I agree to do it? There still no guarantee that no one else will interfere.

**"Like Ryoga? Or should I say P-Chan?"** Ranma sighed.

"I was afraid that you figured it out."

**"Oh come on it doesn't take a genius to figure it out. P-Chan appears shortly after Ryoga arrives. And even more obvious he's wearing the same stupid bandanna."** Ranma listened as Akuma went on his tirade.

"So why didn't you expose him?"

**"What and interfere with Akane's fun?"**

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Ranma asked angrily.

**"Oh come on Ranma either Akane is the densest person on the planet, or-"** he appeared next to Ranma' head and whispered in his ear. **"She knows and is just a kinky two timing tramp****?**"

Bamm! Akuma found himself floored, as Ranma's fist seemed to have a life of its own. Ranma's face was an angry purple color

"You're dead." Ranma said through clenched teeth.

**"Why afraid that I'm right?"** Akuma asked as he waved the vial in front of Ranma's face. **"Tell you what Ranma, I'll give you chance to prove me wrong. I'll arrange a nice place for you two to go; and if you agree to let me teach you a technique, I'll make sure that nobody interferes with your date."**

"Forget it. I'm not making any deals with you."

**"What no faith in Akane? Or is it you have no idea how to really date a woman? Maybe you were better off engaged to Kuno? At least then you didn't have to make the hard decisions."** Ranma gritted his teeth and clenched his fist and approached Akuma.

"Fine I'll take Akane out and we'll both have a wonderful time; providing where you send us isn't a dive, and you can keep everyone away from us. Now where is this place?"

Akuma pulled a flyer from his pocket. It was an advertisement for the Kooky Karaoke Cafe.

"Wow that's one of the most popular joints in the city. I can't afford that."

**"All right I'll loan you the money." **Akuma sighed. He then pulled out a contract.

"What's this for?" Ranma asked reading over the contract looking at the very small print. He looked at Akuma in disbelief.

"You have got to be kidding me."

**"It's your choice Ranma. Agree to my terms or the deal is off. Then you can figure out how to keep the tomboy from attacking your feminine side."** Seeing no way out Ranma signed his name on the dotted line.

**"Well I would advise you to get some sleep lover boy; tomorrow is going to be a busy day for ya."** Ranma then watched Akuma leave his room.

"Man what have I just got myself into" Ranma sighed, as he got ready for bed.

Mousse found himself once again sneaking into the Kuno household. He could still remember the first night Akuma put these arrangements into effect. It all started in the back room of the Cat Cafe a flashback started to take effect at this point.

**"Hello Mousse. How are you doing?"** The duck woke up to see Akuma standing there with a collection of robes each one very fashionable with a different design featuring a duck and a black rose in every one. Since then he considered Akuma his best friend. How could he not, Akuma had been nothing but helpful and generous to Mousse.

_He's given me these great looking robes; also he helps me to see my beloved Kodachi. _

But because of Shampoo's death threat he always met Kodachi in one of the secret passages within the Kuno household, which was just as well. Mousse found it quite thrilling being with Kodachi as they both watched Shampoo looking for them and when she finally left, he found himself paralyzed in Kodachi's bed. _But lately she hasn't been paralyzing me that much._ His thoughts were interrupted by a familiar voice, which pulled him back to the present time.

**"Hey Mousse how's it going eh?"** Mousse turned to see his demonic best friend standing behind him with a blue envelope in his hands.

"Akuma, What are you doing here?" Mousse said approaching the demon.

**"I forgot to give you this." **He said handing Mousse the envelope.

"What's this?" Mousse asked looking at the envelope.

**"Open it and find out."** Mousse tore open the envelope and pulled out a fancy looking invitation

You and a guest are cordially invited to Shai Swank for our fiftieth Anniversary Dinner.

Also attached was a note.

Dear Mousse

I hope you and Kodachi will do me the honor of joining us. Don't worry about the cost it already taken care of; just be sure to dress formal and have fun.

Sincerely

Akuma

"Mousse Mon-Cheri," Kodachi said appearing from the darkness of the secret passage.

"Kodachi." Mousse whispered in awe and dropped the letter when he saw what she was wearing. He also didn't notice that Akuma had disappeared. Instead of her usual purple leotard she was wearing a red robe with pictures of rose petals. And to top it off she untied her ponytail and let her hair drape down across her shoulders. She was carrying a single candle to illuminate the dark passage. Approaching him gently she took off his glasses.

"Kodachi you look - I mean you're beautiful." And for the first time since he's known her Mousse thought he saw Kodachi blush. Of course it was hard to tell without his glasses.

Unknown to both the young lovers Akuma didn't leave when Mousse dropped off the invitation, but instead snuck into Tati Wati's bedroom. Taking one of the candles off the elder Kunos' dresser he lit it then knelt down next to the sleeper's ear and cleared his throat.

"Master Kuno its time for your bedtime story." he said perfectly imitating his manservant's voice. "This is the story about a brave knight who fell in love with a pig-tailed princess who mysteriously disappeared one day.

"Pig-tailed girl," Kuno murmured in his sleep as Akuma began putting his fingers in shadow puppet formation. Akuma mastered his fingers into a girl Ranma silhouette. The shadow puppet opened her mouth and cried out.

"Kuno, my beloved Kuno please help me." The now lucid Kuno watched the demonic shadow puppet show as the Ranma silhouette spoke again.

"Please all I wanted was to pick some flowers for my bouquet. Please let me go." The shadow changed from girl-Ranma into a male with a huge mouth and two little fangs.

"Shut up girl you are now a prisoner of Ryoga Hibiki," he said in a sinister tone. "Now be good and do what you're told and I won't hurt you."

The shadow changed into two smaller shadows one was of girl-Ranma cringing, the other was of Ryoga advancing towards her. Kuno watched as the wall went black. Suddenly bright red letters appeared on the wall.

Due to the graphic nature of this scene it has been blocked out of this shadow presentation. We apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused.

The final shadow was of girl-Ranma crying: "Oh Kuno darling please help me." The show then faded to black as Akuma quietly left Kuno tossing and turning. He shook his hand rigorously as he exited the room.

_**Demon Dexterity only allows so much; shadow puppets for fuck sakes.**_ The demon thought to him-self as he left the household.

**"Three down, three to go." **He grinningly mused to himself.

It was roughly 3:00 am when Akuma returned to the Cat Cafe. Everybody was asleep so Akuma encountered no resistance as he walked to Shampoo's bedroom. He opened the door slowly and walked in. He twitched, ducked and rolled a second before the bonbori struck the floor.  
**"All set for a Kodachi hunt?"** He asked grinning at Shampoo.

Shampoo blinked at Akuma.

"You, What you want?" Shampoo asked the demon that defeated her great grandmother.

**"Didn't Stick Monkey tell you? I want to court you."** Shampoo blinked twice then smirked.

"Stupid demon you can no court Shampoo. Only Ranma can court Shampoo."

**"Funny according to-"** he cleared his throat and then spoke: "Three Thousand Years of Chinese Amazon History-" He said in a perfect mockery of Cologne's voice. "That if any man defeats the teacher of an Amazon warrior who is already engaged he then has the right to court that Amazon for three days. This allows him time to convince the Amazon to choose him as a husband instead of her suitor." A look of shock and disgust formed on Shampoo's face.

"You must be joking! Shampoo never change mind especially because of you."

**"Regardless I still get a chance to change your mind."** Shampoo just glared at him, as she saw no point in arguing with a demon that knew Amazon law better then she did.

"So how you plan to waste Shampoo's time?" she asked.

**"You ever hear of a restaurant called Shai Swank?"** he asked grinning. Shampoo just blinked and stared at his fangs.

Akuma left his date at the Cat Cafe and proceeded to his second to last target. He yawned as he approached Ukyo's. _**Almost done thank darkness. Even I need sleep but right now I need to look more remorseful. **_Pondering this he put his hands over his face and began forming his false sincerity look. _**Much better.**_

Ukyo tossed and turned on her sleep roll as the image of Ryoga gently putting his hand on her shoulder kept filling her head.

"I mean come on: you're attractive, smart, funny, generous, and caring. I'm surprised that the guys aren't knocking down your door." She could still hear Ryoga's kind words to her.

"No I'm engaged to Ranma Honey." she protested the mental picture of Ryoga slowly turned into Ranma. "Besides-she muttered in her sleep, Ryogu's-(As she said this she smiled) still obsessed with Akane." She suddenly felt a gentle tap on her shoulder. Nudging it off, she felt it again.

"Ryoga." she muttered rubbing her eyes. Turning around she saw that it wasn't Ryoga but the mysterious stranger that saved her from an obsession with Mousse. He was wearing the same black jacket and oversized baseball cap he was wearing when they first met.

"You what are you doing here?" she asked covering herself up.

**"Oh Miss Ukyo a terrible thing has happened involving your boyfriend Ryoga."** The stranger said looking upset.

"Ryoga, Boyfriend," She shook her head to clear the cobwebs. "Ryoga's not my boyfriend."

**"My apologies Miss Ukyo it's just, that well, you were moaning his name in your sleep."** Hearing that about herself caused her cheeks to turn red. She then shook her head.

"Just how long have you been here watching me sleep?" she asked annoyed at the stranger.

**"Not long I just stepped in when I heard you moaning** OOOHHH Ryoga," The stranger said mocking Ukyo's voice.

Ukyo's face went completely flush "Ah you were saying something about a terrible thing."

**"Oh yes terrible indeed, somehow during a struggle Ryoga and Ranma's female alias both got exposed to Sakuratu root," **the stranger said seemingly distressed. Ukyo eyes shot wide open.

"You mean Ranma honey and Ryoga are..."

**"I saw them covered in powder close to a tool shed." **He shook his head looking distraught. **"I was too late to stop them."** A shocked look appeared on

Ukyo's face

"Stop them, stop them from what?" _Oh god please let him say from killing each other. _

**"Look I didn't actually see what they were doing but I heard a woman moaning OOOHHH Ryoga like you were a couple minutes afterwards."** He said his face matching the color of his hair.

Thummp! Akuma watched as Ukyo head hit her pillow as she passed out from the shock. The idea of Ranma and Ryoga bumping uglies was just too much for her to handle.

**"Poor girl I guess I did exaggerate everything a bit,"** Akuma said with a chuckle as he prepared to leave. He took off his cap and left it on Ukyo's head so she wouldn't mistake the conversation for a dream. He then brushed the hair from his eyes and reached into his jacket withdrawing another oversized baseball cap with a big red A on the front. Leaving he took one last glance at Ukyo who looked like she was having a really bad dream.

Akuma returned to the Tendo household holding a small red flask. He carefully snuck inside and went towards the stairs leading to the Tendo sister's bedroom. He was like a shadow silent and undetectable as he prepared to put the final step of the first phase of his plan in action.

"Oh Hello Akuma," the always cheerful voice of Kasumi spoke from behind him.

_**Damn morning people,**_ Akuma mentally cursed. He turned around to see her unassuming smile.

"I'm sorry Akuma." Kasumi spoke softly; "But everyone is still asleep. Would you like some tea while you wait for Nabiki to wake up?" Akuma blinked twice looking at Kasumi. _**She's just like an angel,**_ he thought, as he looked at her sweet face, _**blissfully and annoyingly stupid.**_

**"I would be pleased to have a cup of tea with you Kasumi,"** he said, his upper lip twitching slightly. Ten minutes later the angel and the demon were sitting at the kitchen table drinking tea.

**"So tell me Kasumi, do you have a boyfriend?"** The questioned startled Kasumi so much that she nearly choked on her tea.

"No I really have been to busy to really meet that many men," she responded to the question with a quizzical look in her eye. "Why?"

**"Well it's just that I figured a woman like you would be married by now, it seems to me that you would make a good wife to some lucky suitor." **Akuma said while drinking his tea slowly.

"Maybe someday." she mused almost sadly.

**"Oh is there someone you're considering?"** He put his teacup down gently as he asked her this question.

"No!" Kasumi said defensively as her face went flush.

**"Ah I see you have never really experienced a man have you?" **Akuma was like a wild animal stalking his prey as he questioned her.

"I don't believe that is an appropriate question." Kasumi stated sounding annoyed. This reaction caught Akuma by surprise. He smiled and continued his interrogation.

**"Now I don't see how you can sleep so calmly with the Saotome men and Ryoga around the house.**

"I have no interest in young men; they bore me." Kasumi was starting to get angry. Her muscles were tense and she found herself actually forming a fist with her fingers. "And as for Mr. Saotome he's my father's best friend and it wouldn't be proper."

**"But you must realize that there is no real parental supervision and both Ranma and Ryoga are at that age when a man becomes a hormonal time bomb. Now Ranma has Akane but when Ryoga sleeps over and well- perhaps I've said too much."**

"Yes you have. Please leave." Kasumi said pointing to the kitchen exit.

**"As you wish Kasumi, I met no disrespect it's just that you are a very attractive young woman I myself would pursue you if I was a couple thousand years younger,"** _**That and really, really and boy do I mean really drunk.**_

He left the kitchen and went up the stairs (Kasumi didn't indicate that she wanted him to leave the house just the kitchen) to Akane's bedroom. He opened her door quietly and crept inside. She was on her bed outstretched on her back. She was sleeping peacefully. Underneath a clenched fist however was a smooshed P-Chan. Pulling the red flask from his jacket pocket he approached the smooshed up piglet. Gently he grabbed P-Chan and waved the flask underneath his nose. The pig stirred for a second sniffed the bottle and was soon out cold.

With the black piglet under his arm he left Akane's bedroom. He was about to go back down the stairs then quickly turned around. Very quietly he went into Kasumi room. Five minutes later he came out. _**I'll be damned (more than before) no sign of a crack pipe or any kind of uppers what so ever.**_ He passed by Nabiki's door and opened the door a crack and peaked in. Akuma sighed as he watched her sleep for a couple of seconds before closing the door again and going down the stairs to Ranma's room.

Soon after he left the house with everything he needed including P-Chan._** let the fun begin.**_ Akuma thought to himself as he began chuckling quietly.

Ranma stretched as he woke up then wiped his eyes. "Man did I really agree to take Akane for a night on the town?" he questioned himself

**"Yep you did."**

Ranma jumped and turned to see Akuma lying down beside him.

**"Talk about waking up to the wrong face in the morning huh?"** Akuma said winking at Ranma.

"Oh god please god, tell me we didn't sleep together!" Ranma said his eyes wide open in panic

** "Oh we did and I have to tell you its really hard for me to get into the mood when you're moaning Akane's and Kuno's name all night."** Ranma looked like he was about to throw up when Akuma started bursting into the laughter. He hit the floor rolling in hysterical laughter.

**"Man I had you going for a while didn't I?"** He stopped to wipe the tears from his blood shot eyes.

**"Like I would really sleep with your skanky ass in either form," **He then jumped up and faced Ranma. **"But anyway let's get down to business are you ready to learn that technique now?"**

"Like I have any choice?" Ranma said grimacing at the prospect of being Akuma's student Akuma smiled and approached Ranma. Then before Ranma could stop him he palm striked Ranma's chest and then slapped him in the face.

_What the hell did he do that for?_ Ranma thought. Mouth went into gear.

"What were you thinking hitting me like that?" Ranma asked then stopped as he realized what he was saying.

_What did that son of a bitch do to me?_ He thought confused.

"What did you do to me you infernal creature?" Akuma delighted in Ranma's confusion.

**"It's called the Sainoeviltonone technique. A demon overlord created it to drive his opponents to distraction." **He began circling Ranma as he continued to explain the technique to Ranma.

**"Basically even I have no idea how it works, all I know is that this technique keeps you from saying anything negative or harmful to anyone."** He finished his explanation and reached into his pocket.

"You mean I can't insult anyone, not that unfortunate soul Ryoga or that nuisance Kuno?

**"Not exactly, more like your actions will be censored. Think of it this way: you're a cartoon character in a little kids show. This means that are certain things you can't say but on the plus side this will also keep you from putting your foot in your mouth when you ask Akane if she will go out with you tonight."** He opened his mouth to yawn but what came out sounded more like a bear's yawn than a human's.

"Well even though I appreciate the effort Akuma; I am concerned about how long this will last." Ranma said angry at the fact that those weren't the words he chose to say.

**"To tell you the truth I'm not really sure. You're the first human this technique has been tried on so I'm not quite sure of all the effects just yet."**

"What? You tried a technique on me without knowing how long this God forsaken thing will last?"

**"Hey a deal's a deal. Now go up there and ask Akane out tonight, you stud. And don't worry about a thing I've already taken care of all the details."** He then pointed Ranma towards the direction of Akane's bedroom and went back to bed.

**"Yes I've made sure that all the details were taken care of,"** he muttered as he grinned and went to sleep.

Ryoga groped around in the darkness. _Now where am I?_ He thought. _And why is it so cold?_ He felt his body and learned the reason for his shivers.

"Come out you scoundrel." he heard Kuno's voice cry out.

_Clothes have to find clothes._ He scrambled in the darkness looking for something to cover himself with when he felt his pants. Finding his shirt also he quickly got dressed and went out to confront Kuno.

"What do you want?" Ryoga asked stumbling out of the tool shed. Kuno raised his sword in a challenging manner and seemed even angrier then before.

"Tell me what you did with my pig-tailed princess!"

"I don't know what the hell you're talking about." Ryoga said responding to Kuno's challenge.

"Liar, you attempt to deceive me when the evidence of your crimes is on your skin." Kuno pointed at Ryoga's clothes. A look of complete shock came over Ryoga's face as he found himself wearing a red training shirt and black training pants.

"I will ask you one more time what did you do with the pig-tailed girl?"

"Yes Ryoga Honey what exactly did you do with the pig-tailed girl?" A familiar voice came from behind him.

Ryoga turned around to see a really pissed of Ukyo standing behind him. She seemed even angrier as she saw Ryoga wearing Ranma's clothes. His hair completely messed up he looked like he was tossing and turning all night or doing something worse.

In short Ryoga found himself unarmed and stuck between a rock and a hard place as two very angry suitors of Ranma advanced on him.

Is this the end of our Eternal Lost Boy? Stay Tuned.

Same Hibiki computer. Same Hibiki fanzine.

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

Ranma1/2

Ranma and Akane's Date Pt 2

When we last left our hero Ryoga he had been framed for sexual misconduct by the demon Akuma. He soon found himself being confronted by an angry Kuno and Ukyo, and now for the continuation.

"Holy Hibiki mix up." Ryoga said as he ducked under Kuno's sword and Ukyo's spatula. "Prepare to die knave." Kuno shouted trying to cut off Ryoga's head. Ryoga quickly jumped in the air to gain some distance from Ranma's finances while thinking of a way to escape.

_If only I had my parasol._ He thought as he blocked Ukyo spatula with his arm. Both of the combatants landed on the ground.

"You horny bastard," Ukyo shouted charging Ryoga with her spatula. Ryoga blinked at Ukyo as he evaded the charge.

"I told you I didn't boink you." Ryoga turned around just in time to see Kuno jump at him his sword above his head. "And what is your problem?" Ryoga said with a flying knee thrust to Kuno's stomach. The force of the blow caused Kuno to land on his back.

"You vermin I won't allow you to have your way with the pig-tailed girl anymore." He said as he struggled to get up.

"What are you talking about?" Ryoga asked as he grabbed Kuno by the lapels.

"You animal," He said spitting in Ryoga's face. Thunk the blow from Ukyo's spatula struck a home run with a flying Ryoga as the baseball.

"Baka, how dare you have sex with Ranma honey." she shouted as Ryoga went flying.

"He had sex with Saotome?" Kuno asked as his eyes shot wide opened. "And he was wearing the pig-tailed girls' clothes." The mental picture was too much for Kuno to take as his lunch left his stomach coming out the same way it came in.

Ranma approached the duck wearing a blue training shirt instead of the usual red one he always wore. He raised his knuckle to knock on her door.

So are you finally going to do it?

Ranma didn't reply he just knocked on the door.

"Just a minute," He heard Akane call. The door opened and Akane stepped out.

"Oh hi Ranma." she said surprised as Ranma stood there.

"Oh hi Akane." he responded.

Do it you idiot

"Akane would you?" Ranma said getting flustered.

Spit it out don't be a wuss

"Would you like?" He continued turning flush.

"Yes Ranma would I like what?" Akane asked half guessing what he was trying to say.

Oh come on do you have walnuts or peanuts

"Akane would you like to go to the Kooky Karaoke Club with me?" He said feeling better that he finally said it. Akane just stared at Ranma and blinked

"Ranma are you asking me out on a date?" Akane said in surprise to a nervous Ranma.

"Yeah I guess I am, so would you like to go?"

"When," She asked not believing what was happening.

"Ah, tonight if that's okay? I mean if you don't have any plans." he said looking down shyly. Akane watched as she saw Ranma go through an even more amazing change than Jusenkyo. In the past couple of months Ranma began to change from a loud mouth jerk to a sweet goofy loud mouth jerk.

"Sure Ranma sounds like fun." She turned to go into her room. "So how much should I bring?"

"Nothing it's my treat." She heard Ranma's voice say. Akane's eyes went wide open.

_His treat, Ranma now I know something's wrong with him. _

"Are you okay Ranma you've been acting strange for two months now?" she asked in a concerned tone. Ranma raised his head and looked into Akane's eyes and cleared his throat.

"I'm fine Akane I just thought that maybe you and me could out and have some fun. That's all," he said without stuttering.

"But the Kooky Karaoke Club, I mean Ranma that place is expensive. Are you sure?" she asked preparing to get her wallet ready for later. Ranma gently grabbed her arm and pulled her away from the door.

"It's already taken care of just be sure to wear a nice dress before we leave tonight." Akane stood there in shock as Ranma left to prepare for their date.

"Did I hear right Ranma asked you out on a date? And he's paying for it?" The sound of Nabiki's surprised voice startled an already shocked Akane.

"That's what he said." Akane said smiling as she went into her room.

Nabiki couldn't help but wonder what was going on with Ranma.

_Is it possible Ranma is actually in love?_ She was just coming up the stairs when she heard Ranma asking Akane out. _I guess anything's possible._, she thought as she went into her room. She stopped, startled at the sight that was before her.

Sleeping on her bed in his usual get up was Akuma. She had gone out for just an hour to get some film for her camera only to come back and find her business partner sleeping in her bed.

_Great I'm probably the only girl who can say my partner is a demon in the sack and have it actually be true. _She then blushed and shook her head. Oh my god where did that come from? She thought to herself as she watched him sleep. _Okay for a demon he's kind of cute, and yeah he has a keen financial mind, and hell a thousand years of experience can be interesting. _She shook her head before any hentais started playing. _No what am I thinking? He's a demon for God sakes, he's evil and annoying and just, just bad. _She walked over to the sleeping demon and pushed him off her bed.

"Just what do you think you were doing?" Akuma wiped his eyes as he looked up to see a very annoyed Nabiki.

**"My apologies Miss Tendo I must have fallen asleep while waiting for you."** The demon said apologetically. He shook his head and jumped up in front of Nabiki. **"To tell you the truth I'm kind of embarrassed."**

"Oh really and why is that?" Nabiki asked still annoyed but also intrigued.

**"I was wondering if you would like to join me; for a business dinner say around nine o'clock, at the Kooky Karaoke Café."** Nabiki looked suspiciously at Akuma.

"What are you up to now?" She asked him wondering if there was profit going to be involved.

**"Nothing I just thought that a nice dinner in a famous restaurant, you know it would give us the chance to get to know each other better."** He said stretching his fatigued muscles. **"Perhaps even bounce a couple of ideas off each other." **

"You just don't quit do you? First you muscle your way into my operations, and then you make it difficult for me to run any independent business ventures of my own." Her annoyance began to turn into anger. "Plus I find you sleeping in my bed, and now you're asking me out to dinner?" Akuma walked over to her dresser as Nabiki continued her tirade. She put her hands on her hips and looked sternly at Akuma. "There is no way you're getting into my pants."

**"Pardon me?"** Akuma asked appearing startled.

"You heard what I said." Nabiki responded to his surprise.

**"What are you Miss Tendo about a 28 waist I don't think I could fit into your pants,"** His dry comment caught Nabiki off guard.

_Oh no, he's not surprising me this time; he's going to learn who the boss of this racket is once and for all. _"Don't try getting cute. You've been after my body since this partnership began. Why don't you just admit so I can let you know that there is no way I am going to sleep with you." Hearing this Akuma raised his head and looked at Akane with a pair of puppy dog eyes that would put Happosai to shame.

**"Is that what you think that all I want is your body?** He asked Nabiki in what sounded like a hurt tone. **"I'm not that kind of demon. I mean yes I think you have a very sexy body. But you also have a keen and devious mind. But more importantly is the way you integrate those aspects together and-"** Akuma stopped and shook his head. **"I just wanted to take my partner out to a nice restaurant and maybe get to be her friend."** Nabiki approached Akuma and gently raised his head. She looked into his burning black eyes.

"Oh Akuma, that was such a beautiful performance just now. I can't wait to see what you have planned for the Cafe tonight." Akuma looked up and grinned exposing his fangs.

**"You should get there around eight thirty; I have another business arrangement I have to take care of at six. But I promise you it will be a very entertaining evening."** He then walked out of her room and did his usual disappearing act. Nabiki watched as Akuma disappeared then turned to the mirror.

"He thinks I have a sexy body," she said as she posed for the mirror.

Mousse rolled over and looked at Kodachi sleeping blissfully next to him. _She didn't even paralyze me this time,_ he thought to himself as he watched his beloved sleep. She shivered a bit as the blanket fell off her shoulder. Smiling Mousse gently pulled her against him and used his body to shield her from the cold.

She snuggled closer to him and stopped shivering. _So this is what it feels like._ He looked at the clock on her bedroom wall. _We still have six hours before our reservation._ He sighed as he just held her and let her sleep.

At the Cat Cafe Shampoo was busy looking in her closet for a nice dress to wear on her outing with Akuma. _Stupid demon's wasting Shampoo's time._ She mentally cursed picking out a sexy red number.

"You realize he's really not interested in you at all." Cologne's voice croaked. Shampoo turned around to see Cologne standing there with her walking stick in her hands.

"That okay Great Grandma; Shampoo not interested in stupid demon." She responded to her grandmother's concerns. Cologne looked at her great granddaughter and furrowed her wrinkly brow.

"Remember the one thing he's not is stupid," she said as she grabbed Shampoo's hand. He is up to something evil, I can feel it."

"But great grandma he only three days to court Shampoo. How much can Akuma do in three days?" Cologne shivered.

"That my child is what I am afraid of."

Kodachi opened her eyes to find Mousses arm around her.

"Hello." he said smiling at his beloved.

"What time is it?" She asked him as she rolled out of bed.

"We have an hour and a half before our reservation." he said stretching as he got out of bed.

Kodachi started getting dressed in her formal gown. She seemed tense as she looked over her shoulder to see Mousse getting dressed in one of the robes his friend Akuma gave him.

"Are you okay?" He said gently noticing her unease. Kodachi turned to him and smiled.

"I'm fine Mu Shu." Mousse took off his glasses and continued to speak to her softly.

"Kodachi this is the first time we have spent in bed together that I haven't been restrained, drugged or paralyzed. I mean it was very nice but if it makes you uncomfortable I'll understand if you want to go back to the more confining methods." He put his glasses back on in time to see Kodachi blushing.

"I feel that I can trust you enough to wait until I'm ready," she said quietly as she smiled. Mousse put his hands on her shoulders and gently kissed her lips.

"We should get going." Kodoahi nodded in agreement and after a couple of last minute preparations the young couple left for the restaurant.

_**I have to admit if I didn't know her better I would think she was a major dish.**_ Akuma thought as he looked at Shampoo. She was wearing a fashionable (but a little undercut) red dress with a matching top. He watched as her hips jiggled as she approached him. A look of contempt formed on her face as she met with her formally dressed demonic date for the evening.

**"You look incredible Shampoo. Forgive me for being so practical but I figure it was better then calling you Miss Poo."** Shampoo just looked at Akuma with daggers in her eyes.

"You want Shampoo to be civil no more stupid jokes," she said crossing her arms.

**"Fair enough, shall we?"** He asked holding out his arm for his date. She just huffed and walked past him.

Meanwhile at the Tendo dojo Ranma was also trying to get ready for his big date.

"Darn this is a prestigious restaurant. I have to dress in something appropriate."

_Damn curse I don't how much longer I can handle this dainty crap._ He continued his panicked search for something formal to wear. Finally he went to find the only person who could help him.

Akane hummed a happy tune as she tried on different dresses.

_I can't believe Ranma's taking me out tonight. I don't know what's gotten into him lately. Maybe he's just going through late puberty._ She giggled at this thought. _Well if that is the case maybe I should wear something just a little more grown up._ She folded all her outfits neatly and then went to find someone to help her out.

Ranma was not surprised to find Kasumi in the kitchen. She was happily singing to herself as she was chopping vegetables.

"Ah, hi Kasumi," Ranma said being careful not to startle the woman with the knife. Kasumi stopped cutting and turned to face Ranma.

"Oh hello Ranma,"

"Kasumi would you mind helping me," He said clearing his throat.

"Help you with what Ranma?" Kasumi asked a little pensive around Ranma suddenly. He cleared his throat again.

"I need help picking out something to wear for my date with Akane tonight." Kasumi relaxed and smiled at her blushing soon to be brother-in-law.

"Of course I'll help you Ranma. Let's see what we can do." Minutes later Kasumi stepped out of Ranma's closet.

"Oh dear I'm afraid none of these will do." Ranma groaned.

"Oh no what am I going to do," He started to despair as Kasumi left the room. Ranma paced back and forth as he desperately tried to think of something to wear. His pacing was interrupted by the sound of Kasumi clearing her throat. Ranma looked to see her with the answer to his prayers.

Nabiki was looking in her closet for something disarming to use against Akuma.

_Fine he thinks I have a sexy body I might as well use that to my advantage_. She pushed her clothes aside and went for some of the special formal wear that she had gotten in secret for her birthday from her fellow entrepreneurs. _Daddy would have plotzed and the old perv would have had a heart attack if they knew I had this._ She smiled a wicked smile as she pictured Akuma reaction. _He seems to like black and red so this will probably get all his horns attention. _Once again she found herself blushing. _Man what is with me?_ Her self-recriminations were interrupted by a knock on the door. "Akuma is that you?" she asked quickly trying to conceal her evening gear before letting him in.

"Nabiki its Akane can I please come in?" Nabiki opened the door to find a very nervous Akane. She looked at Nabiki with pleading eyes. "Nabiki I need help I want to look extra nice for my date with Ranma tonight."

"I guess Ranma paying for everything is a special occasion." Nabiki responded condescendingly.

"Please Nabiki?" Akane pleaded "I need to look a little more grownup for tonight." Nabiki looked at her little sister in surprise.

_She really wants to look good for Ranma._ She surprisingly found herself thinking like a big sister

."Come on Akane I think I might have some outfits you can use."

"Ah yes Mr Shu and Miss Kuno your tables are already prepared right this way please." the waiter said showing them a table for four.

"Wow this place is sure impressive." Mousse said in awe. He wasn't used to this kind of glitz and glamour life style. He was wearing a dark green robe that showed a swan dancing in a valley of dark rose petals. Like a gentleman he helped Kodachi to her seat. Kodachi herself was a vision of beauty her hair was still draped across her shoulders but it was tied up on the back. And once again instead of her leotard she was wearing a red Japanese gown with a black rose corsage.

"What time did your friend say he would be here with his date?" Kodachi asked as she looked at Mousse from behind the menu. Mousse found it hard not to become captivated by her eyes.

"Ah, come to think of it he didn't really say." Kodachi couldn't help but giggle at Mousse's bashfulness.

"Well would you like if I ordered for us?" she asked looking back at the menu.

"Sure, just no duck all right?" Mousse answered smiling at her. It was one of those little mysteries about Mousse that Kodachi hadn't solved yet.

_He seems to have a strange preoccupation with duck, _she thought to herself as she looked at the robe he was wearing. She sighed as she started wondering how long it would take her to learn all this mysterious new suitors secrets.

Shampoo walked silent and at a distance from Akuma. And every time Akuma tried to get closer to her she pulled away.

"You waste Shampoo's and Akuma's time; Shampoo going to marry Ranma." she said annoyed at her date.

**"Are you sure about that? He and Akane seem rather close."** The demon spoke not showing emotion in his tone. Shampoo glowered at him then formed a cunning smile on her face.

"After three days Shampoo kill stupid laughing girl; Then Shampoo eliminate Akane."

**"That seems like a lot of effort for a guy who won't even give you the time of day unless he needs something from you." **Akuma kept any emotion from his tone of voice. Shampoo suddenly found him right in front of her. **"I mean does he ever ask you out on a date without any ulterior motive or love spell placed on him. To me it just seems kind of sad to chase after a man who isn't remotely interested in you, especially when there was a nice young man who was very much in love with you."** He said as he looked into Shampoo's eyes. They flinched just a bit and Akuma knew that he struck a nerve.

"Ranma Shampoo's fiancé," she said sounding like she was trying to hold back from crying.

**"Yes but only by accident. It has been my past experience that if two people are truly right for each other then they should be able to answer this question. Why did I choose to be engaged to this person?"**

Shampoo had to struggle to hold back the tears as she begun to suspect where Akuma was going with this discussion. She wanted to pummel him or run away. But unfortunately she was bound by Amazon custom to stay with him on this date until the end.

**"So why did you choose Ranma because he's strong and can provide your clan with strong children. But why did Ranma choose you or actually, why did he defeat you in combat?"** Shampoo knew the answer she didn't want to hear it but she knew it. She didn't want to admit to herself the answer that came out of Akuma's lips. **"He did it to protect Akane."** Shampoo turned her head finding it hard to keep the salty water from forming in her eyes. But she would be damned if she let Akuma see his lecture had gotten to her.

"We hurry or we be late." she said quickly trying to change the subject as she wiped her eyes quickly. Akuma just nodded in agreement and proceeded to escort Shampoo to the restaurant.

When they arrived Akuma looked at his watch.

_**Good I still have an hour before my dinner meeting with Nabiki.**_ The demon thought approaching the matre'de. Shampoo was deathly quiet and somber looking as she waited for them to be shown to their table.

"Ah yes right this way sir." the matre'de showed them the way to their table.

Shampoo eyes flared when she saw the other couple at the table. She was about to pull her bonbori out to attack Kodachi when Akuma grabbed her shoulder.

"Let go; Shampoo kill stupid laughing girl." she shouted as she struggled against Akuma's grip. As strong as her Amazon training made her she still couldn't get Akuma to loosen his grip. In fact he began to tighten it before spinning her around so they were face to face.

**"Shut up and behave yourself."** Akuma said as quietly as he possibly could. Shampoo was about to snap back when she looked into Akuma's eyes. Her emotions quickly changed from anger and contempt to stark paralyzing fear. Letting go of her shoulder he escorted a terrified Shampoo to her seat.

**"Hello everybody you all know Shampoo."** Akuma said patting his date's bruised shoulder. If Shampoo felt any pain she didn't make it apparent she just glared at Kodachi quietly. Taking a seat next to Shampoo Akuma ordered a very expensive vintage. Strangely enough he wasn't asked for any identification.

Fifteen minutes later everybody but Shampoo was enjoying himself or herself. Both Kodachi and Mousse found Akuma to be quite charming and entertaining.

"You're kidding. You studied martial arts techniques from all around the world?" Kodachi asked Mousse's best friend.

**"I'm just not the type that can stay home for very long so I began traveling on foot to learn techniques and magic's from around the world."**

"So how do know so much about Chinese Amazon Techniques?" Mousse asked wiping his mouth with a napkin. Shampoo who remained silent through the conversation had also found this an interesting topic as well.

**"I spent some time in an Amazon village studying,** Three thousand years of ancient Chinese Amazon history," he said in a perfect mockery of the self-labeled Stick Monkey's voice. Both Mousse and Kodachi couldn't help but chuckle at the perfect imitation of Old Lady Cologne. **"Oh excuse me for a moment; Shampoo why don't you tell Kodachi something about Chinese Amazon History."** Akuma excused himself from the table and disappeared around a corner. Mousse looked at Shampoo she was just sitting there quietly. It was unusual to say the least watching her remain civil around Kodachi.

"So Kodachi have you seen Ranma lately?" Shampoo asked catching them by surprise.

_Oh no, I should have known something like this was going to happen, _Mousse thought picturing a big cat fight between Kodachi and Shampoo over Ranma. He silently prepared himself for the first signs of combat. To both his and Shampoo's surprise Kodachi just sat there and smiled.

"Ranma has not made any effort to see me so I've moved on to someone who is willing to give me his full attention." She then turned her head and looked at Mousse a stunned reaction on his face. "And affection." she said winking at Mousse. "It's a pity that you can't seem to do the same." Shampoo watched as Mousse blushed and prepared her next verbal attack. She waited until the waiter brought them a pitcher of ice water then she continued.

"You know Mousse only believe he love you because of 3000 year old Chinese Amazon love powder," she said slyly grabbing the pitcher. "But Shampoo have cure right here." And before anyone could stop her she threw the pitcher at Mousse. Before his beloved Kodachi's eyes the once handsome young man who was her date for the evening was replaced by a duck with coke bottle glasses. "Now who you love Mousse?" Shampoo asked the duck sitting in Mousse's seat, before the confused duck could answer Kodachi rose from her seat.

"You Chinese witch what have you done to my dear Mu Shu?" she said throwing her robe off revealing her battle leotard.

"You stupid laughing girl duck is Mousse." Shampoo said pulling her bonbori out of nowhere.

"What? You turned my Mon Cherie into a duck, alright you Chinese Harlot enough is enough." She pulled out her ribbon and whirled it around as black rose petals filled the air. "You have been hunting me for weeks now, depriving me of my sleep, invading my privacy and generally being a nuisance," she said striking a dramatic pose. "But now you turn my beloved Mu Shu into a duck because you're too skanky to get yourself a man, this time you've gone too far." She yelled and rushed at Shampoo who was also prepared for battle.

"Skanky, Shampoo not skanky you pervert girl, Shampoo not turn Mousse into duck. Jusenkyo curse turn Mousse into duck," she said striking at Kodachi with her bonbori.

"Don't, lie to me you trollop, you turned him into a duck and it will give me great pleasure making you turn him back into my Mu Shu." she yelled evading

Shampoo's attack and lashing out with her ribbon.

"Mousse turn into duck by himself you sick twisted pervert girl in love with man and duck." Shampoo said as she rolled out of the way of the ribbon as it ended up striking one of the waiters.

"Don't be ridiculous." Kodachi retorted pulling her ribbon back. "I could never love a duck." At that moment the duck that was just sitting there watching the tableau confused about who side to take jumped up and threw a smoke bomb at both women. He quickly then waddled away heart broken at the rejection made by both the woman he thought he loved. Kodachi stopped and looked at the duck take off.

"Mu Shu?" she asked in a quiet voice as the duck left the restaurant.

Meanwhile Shampoo's date had also left the restaurant to meet his second dinner date. He pulled out a cell phone from his jacket pocket.

**"Hey Clive its Akira, Is everything prepared? Ah huh good; no I guarantee it will be quite a show yep this will be a date that Mr. Ranma Saotome and Miss Akane Tendo will never forget."**

"One hour until our reservation. What's taking her so long?" Ranma questioned himself out loud. He was dressed in the very handsome dress suit that Kasumi had borrowed from her father's closet. He didn't even question why it fit so perfectly on him. "Kasumi did a fantastic job altering this suit," he said checking him-self in the mirror for the tenth time. Once again he combed his hair and adjusted his collar. The doorbell rang interrupting his preening.

"Oh hello Akuma," Ranma heard Kasumi greet the demon. He was surprised because her voice had a strained politeness to it.

**"Hello Kasumi and how are you this evening?"** The demon returned the greeting with his style of false charm. **"Is Ranma here I need to talk to him?"**

_What does that pain ass want with me now?_

"What do you want with me now you annoying nuisance?" Ranma asked still affected by Akuma's spell. Suddenly he watched Akuma eyes nearly bug out of his head like a cheesy cartoon character.

"I'm ready." He heard his date say. Turning around he was stunned by the vision that was in front of his eyes. Ranma could feel his heart beating at increased pace. She was wearing a dark blue dress with a dragon running down her left leg while her right leg was exposed.

**"Excuse me Ranma I'll be right back."** Before Ranma could stop him suddenly Akuma was right next to Akane. He put his hand on her chin and raised her head. It looked like he was about to kiss her.

_Why that oversexed son of a bitch mother fucker._

"Why you libidinous child of questionable heritage who is amorously attracted to his mother," _Okay now this curse is really getting annoying._

Akuma pulled a vial of red powder from his pocket and blew it in her face. **"There can't have her attacking you more than usual on your big date now can we?" **He said as he suddenly was next to Ranma. Pushing Akuma hand of his shoulder he looked at Akane (actually gawked is more the word) at Akane.

"Well Ranma how do I look?" Akane asked her shocked date. She stepped a little closer expecting a goofy response from him.

"Akane I'm, I'm speechless you're, you're gorgeous," he finally sputtered out. Akane felt her face go flush.

"Thank you Ranma you're looking quite handsome yourself." she said, as she looked at him no longer trying to hide the flush in her face. She turned to see Akuma also decked out in classy threads. "And why are you all dressed up?" she asked Akuma already suspicious of his motives. She didn't even get a chance to start her interrogation because of the voice coming down the stairs.

"Are you boys ready to go?" Nabiki asked with a sexy tone of voice.

"Nabiki what are you wearing?" Akane asked as Ranma face went right to the floor as soon as she reached the bottom step.

Akuma turned around quickly to adjust his third horn. His partner was wearing a low cut strapless dark red cocktail dress with matching high heels. Everyone just stared as she walked towards them all.

**"You look disarming Miss Tendo."** Akuma said finally composing himself.

"Thank you Akuma you don't look half bad yourself. I have to say Armani definitely suits you." his partner in business replied.

**"Oh yes well I already have a cab waiting for us so we should get going before we miss our reservation."** He said offering his arm to Nabiki. She took it and the two partners walked outside to there cab. **"Oh by the way Ranma I took the liberty of calling a cab for you and Akane it should be here in a couple of minutes.** Akane rushed towards the exiting couple.

"And where do you think you're going with my sister? She said pulling out her magic mallet. Akuma grinned as he stopped it with only the palm of his hand.

**"Just a business dinner between business partners,"** And before Akane could stop either of them Nabiki and her demon were in the cab and pulling away from the curb.

"Why you;" the youngest Tendo sister blurted out, but it was too late. The cab was already on its way to whatever restaurant the demon chose.

"It will be all right Akane," Ranma said putting his arm on her shoulder. "Akuma won't hurt Nabiki in fact I think Nabiki is probably going to teach him a thing or two." Akane turned to Ranma and forced a smile.

"I know Ranma, that's what I'm afraid of."

When the couple arrived at the cafe Akane was pleasantly surprised. There was indeed a reservation for them and a table already prepared.

"Oh Ranma this is unbelievable." Akane said turning to her date that was still staring at her.

_Not as unbelievable as the way you look right now._ "It's incredible." Ranma whispered still gawking at Akane. They sat down at their table only to find their drinks already waiting for them at their table.

"Oh wow this is a dream, it has to be." Akane exclaimed looking at their surroundings. The place was packed with people all who looked like the kind of upper class business people she had read about. "I hope Nabiki's all right," she sighed. "She would have loved this place." Ranma took her hand gently from across the table.

"I'm sure she's fine," he said cradling her hand with his fingers. Akane raised her head to find herself staring into her fiancé's eyes.

Meanwhile Kasumi was alone in the house humming away as she cleaned when a sudden movement caught her eye.

"Who's there?" She asked suddenly wishing she wasn't the only one in the house. Her question was answered by the head of a black piglet peeking, its head from around the corner of the couch. "Oh it's you P-Chan what a relief." She smiled and scooped up the little piglet. Gently petting him she noticed the look of exhaustion on its face. "Oh dear you must have had a very long day. I'm sure that Akane won't mind if I put you in her bed." The little pig nodded in agreement as Kasumi carried him to Akane bedroom. As soon as they arrived Kasumi noticed that P-Chan was already fast asleep. She placed him on the bed then went down stairs to make sure the door was locked.

Ukyo couldn't believe the size of the Kuno household as she waited for Kuno to return from the bathroom.

_That jackass has been showering for the past three hours, _she thought while sipping her tea. "Yo, Kuno move it or lose it. I don't have all night here."

She was about to crash his bathroom when he stepped out wrapped in green robe.

"Very well Ukyo it is time we deployed these all over the city." He said pointing to a pile of posters on the table were Ukyo sat.

"Hell with the city Kuno Hon this is Ryoga we're talking about here. We'd better put them up across the bloody country," she said in a bitter, angry tone.

Kuno clapped his hands together and a short bald man with one tooth appeared.

"Yes Master Kuno you summoned me?" Sasuke asked kneeling before his master.

"Yes Sasuke I have a special task for you." He then gave Sasuke his pile posters. "I want you to post these all over Japan immediately."

"Yes Master Kuno." Sasuke grunted as the weight was dropped into his eager-to-please arms. Soon the ninja manservant was on his way displaying the posters all over town.

_I hope this works,_ Ukyo thought wiping a set of tears from her eyes.

"Man this is delicious." Ranma said swallowing a fork full of food while he watched the show. There was a trio on stage singing some sappy type song. Two were girls, one a redhead and one a brunette. The one that caught Ranma's eye was the young man. His skin was a pale shade of gray and he didn't look like he wanted to be up there at all. "Man that guys got a complexion problem." Akane smiled also enjoying the meal and the show when someone caught her eye.

"Nabiki," Akane shouted surprising Ranma. He turned around and sure enough sitting at a table for two across from them was Nabiki enjoying the food and the show as well. The song ended as Ranma and Akane rose to join Nabiki at her table.

"And that was Zelgabunny and Friends, How about a big hand for them?" The host said as applause rose from the crowd, but Akane wasn't interested in the show at the moment.

"Nabiki what are you doing here? Did Akuma hurt you?" Akane asked suddenly clenching her fist.

"Oh, hello Akane, Ranma, I'm just waiting for Akuma. He said he had a surprise for me which would give me a chance to play with my new toy." saying this she put a small video camera on the table.

"You sure you're okay?" Ranma asked sounding genuinely concerned about Nabiki's welfare.

"I'm fine. Akuma's been nothing but the perfect gentle demon." Both Ranma and Akane eyed Nabiki with suspicion and concern.

"So where's Akuma now?" Akane asked looking at her sister who didn't seem scared or upset in the slightest way. So intense was her concentration on her sister that she didn't notice Ranma tapping her on the shoulder.

"Speak the devil's name and he shall come." Ranma said quoting something he heard during his travels. Akane turned around to see Akuma approaching the stage dressed in his usual attire accompanied by someone dressed like Mousse except with brown hair and a little shorter.

"Well folks we have an extra treat for you tonight a full fledged musical number that I am sure you will all enjoy." the host announced into the microphone.

"Akuma's going to sing?" Akane asked out loud.

"Looks like it." Nabiki responded also in surprise.

"With that scratchy voice of his, this I have to hear." Ranma said eagerly awaiting Akuma's musical debut. As they waited for the performance the waiter put a program on their table. Nabiki picked it up and read out loud.

"For those of you who want to join in the fun. This song is played to the tune of

As Some Day It May Happen

By Gilbert and Sullivan

The lights dimmed and all attention was focused on the stage Mousse Clone "So why is a visitor from the demon under world here in Nerima?"

"**I'm so glad you asked." **After saying this he pulls out a theatrical smiley facemask. And the music starts to play.

**"I arrived in Nerima Japan with so much yet to do. That I wrote a little list, I made a little list. But there were amusing people with heads all loosing screws. I'm going to get them pissed, Oh mucho Grande pissed."**

He puts the mask to his face and when he pulled it away he had Ranma's face. And was doing a perfect imitation of his voice, (And this is how he does all the transformations for this number).

"Like the sexually inept moron who turns into a chick. Exposed to cold water he tends to lose his dick."

Genma: "Or deadbeat types of fathers who turn to panda bears."

Now panda form with a sign reading that the audience read it out loud.

Who eat too much and do not work despite angry glares.

Akuma: **"Soon they will pissed, oh yes they will get pissed."**

A chorus dressed up like the characters Akuma previously mentioned come out and start singing.

"He's got them on the list; He's got them on the list.

And soon they will be pissed, Oh yes they will be pissed."

Kasumi: "There are annoyingly dense house siblings who just don't have a clue."

Akuma: **"I treat them like a sist and put them on the list."**

Kuno: "And dumb-ass upper class man who claim to be Thunder Blue."

Akuma: **"Soon they will be pissed, really, really pissed." **

Kuno: "A pompous jackass who tries to hard to hide the shameful truth. He chases two types of women, cause' he's a giant poof."

Ryoga: "Also there are idiots who constantly get lost, who pretend to be little bed piggies not worrying about the cost."

Insert who this sounds like here: Our Otaku, who write operettas about people who don't exist."

Akuma: **"I'll gladly make then pissed, with pleasure make them pissed." **

Chorus: "He's got them on the list; He's got them on the list. And he'll gladly make them pissed. Oh yes with pleasure make them pissed.

Kodachi: And there are freaky bondage chicks with annoying laughs to hear, like hyenas in the mist.

Akuma: **"I got her on the list."**

Shampoo: "Plus Amazon bitches that will drive you to drink beer."

Akuma: **"Because they get you pissed. I will make them pissed."**

Cologne: "And there are wrinkly old stick monkeys who use the same old line.

Happosai: "And panty stealing perverts who should have to pay a fine.

Insert pervert here: "Lemon writing sicko's who really need a life. Obsessed with cartoon women they will never get a wife."

Akuma: **"Centuries worth of buffoons that I put upon this list. And have fun when they are pissed. Real fun when they are pissed." **

Chorus: "He's got them on the list; He's got them on the list.

And have fun when they are pissed. Real fun when they are pissed."

Applause filled the room. The only two who were not applauding were Ranma and Akane.

"Will you knock that off Nabiki!" Akane shouted to her sister who was also applauding her partner's performance. Meanwhile Ranma was already approaching the stage.

"Why you infernal unadjusted malcontent," Ranma yelled out as he tried to punch Akuma. The demon blocked all his blows. He then quickly appeared behind Ranma. And before Ranma could stop him Akuma had his left knuckle in Ranma's back and his right thumb and index finger pinching the back of Ranma's neck.

**"Now Ranma why are you attacking me," **Akuma asked Ranma. But the young man didn't answer. He couldn't somehow Akuma had paralyzed him.

"I didn't think your performance was very tasteful." Ranma said suddenly. But worst of all the words he spoke were not his own. _This is like some sick twisted kind of ventriloquism._ As he was thinking the curtain was suddenly drawn back. Akane watched as the stage was changed into what she imagined what Jusenkyo looked like. Behind the two on stage a tub of water with a sign sticking out of read Cursed Spring.

**"Why did you think my performance was offensive? Tell me I would like to know? How about you folks would you like to know?"** Akuma addressed the audience. Akane watched as the audience responded.

"Yeah tell us," Once again against his will Ranma spoke.

"Well." Soon another tune started to play and once again the waitress handed out programs. Nabiki took it and read it out loud.

"If you still want to participate this song goes by the tune of:

.Modern Major General By, Gilbert and Sullivan"

And if on cue Ranma broke into song.

"I am the very model of a victim of Jusenkyo. A training journey took us to the springs about two years ago. We arrived and fought for hours on thin bamboo poles."

At this point Ranma somehow had puppets on his hands on his left was a little puppet Ranma. On his right hand a little puppet Genma. He then continued his verses.

"Well unaware of the stories of the drowned and cursed souls. I declared victory by knocking pop first in a spring."

As he sang the puppet went flying of his hand and landed in the tub.

"And what emerged and attacked me was a black and white furry thing."

The audience watched as a little panda puppet emerged from the spring and attached itself to his free hand.

"It was a panda he became when exposed to H20."

His right hand rose without his control and the panda puppet smacked Ranma causing him to fall in the tub behind him. When he remerged Akuma quickly put the same grip on him. Ranma couldn't help but continue the musical number in his girl form.

"And as I came out of the spring I had more chest, than I cared to show." Ranma sang indicating her breasts to the crowd as marionettes that looked a lot like Ranma's schoolmates started sing in chorus.

"And as he came out of the spring he had more chest than he cared to show. And as he came out of the spring he had more chest than he cared to show. And as he came out of the spring he had more chest than he cared to show."

The background was then changed to what looked like an imitation of the Tendo training hall. And the female Ranma continued to sing.

"In Nerima I met the entire Tendo family one to whom I was engaged."

Marionettes looking like Akane and her family dropped from the ceiling.

"A series of mishaps soon caused her to become enraged." The Akane marionette poured a bucket of heated water on Ranma's head. And Akuma just repeated the same scenario as before.

"A look of shock formed on their faces as it finally began to show. I am the very model of a victim of Jusenkyo."

The Tendo marionettes then broke into chorus.

"A look of shock formed on their faces as it finally began to show. He is the very model of a victim of Jusenkyo."

"Soon the youngest Tendo daughter was chosen to become my bride. The idea of our engagement was not for either of us to decide."

The backdrop changed again this time to the outside of Nerima high school.

"At school things tended to get even more complicated."

Various puppets in different male gender uniforms replaced the Tendo marionettes.

"A daily battle royal free for all decided who Akane dated. I learned Tatti Watti Kuno was the one who started this entire craze."

A puppet of Kuno suddenly found its way on Ranma's left hand. At the same time a puppet of Akane appeared on his right.

"He fell in love with Akane Tendo shortly after his pubic phase."

He sang showing Kuno puppet chasing the Akane puppet. While Ranma was doing his puppet show cold water appeared above him and activated his transformation.

"I fought him in my girl form instead of staying in the tree. And now that idiotic stupid moron has the major hots for me."

The various uniformed marionettes broke into chorus.

"And now that idiotic stupid moron has the major hots for him. And now that idiotic stupid moron has the major hots for him. And now that idiotic stupid moron has the major hots for him."

Unable to stop she continued her number.

"He now believes that both Akane and I he should be dating. Personally I think he's gay and just really over compensating. And all of this I suffer through because that jackass doesn't know. I am the very model of a victim of Jusenkyo."

Once again the chorus broke out into song.

"And all of this, he suffers through because that jackass doesn't know He is the very model of a victim of Jusenkyo."

Akuma then raised Ranma's head to see the bucket of hot water plummeting down towards him. And it was up to the male Ranma to finish the number.

"In my past two years in Nerima there have been many trying days. I found myself engaged to two more crazy fiancés."

Marionettes of Shampoo and Ukyo replaced the puppets from the last verse.

"And stalked by the Kuno siblings both who really need to get a clue, with all these woman after me it's amazing I don't get a screw."

A black backdrop with three big XXX piled on top of each other appeared behind him.

"To make things worse Akane is still being chased by other guys. One's a pig." As he sang this he pulled out a stuffed P-Chan.

"One's a poof." A stuffed Kuno replaced the stuffed P-Chan.

"One's a pervert." A stuffed Happosai replaced the stuffed Kuno.

"All of whom I do despise,"

Akuma released Ranma from his grip and broke into song.

**"And now a demon has arrived with a tale he would like to tell. Ranma Saotome I challenge you to Karaoke Battle." **

At that moment the music stopped Akuma looked at Ranma intensely. Ranma returned it with his equally intense. The audience was silent.

_Oh no! Ranma's going to fight Akuma._ Akane thought worrying about her fiancé

"Ranma" Akane screamed breaking the silence. He turned his head and looked at her. The world seemed to fade away from him as the two gazed at each other. One determined to win the demon's challenge. The other concerned about someone they care about facing off against a visitor from the demon underworld. Who happened to know all the tricks of their chosen martial art, Ranma turned to face Akuma then snapped his fingers towards the band.

"Let's finish this." the look on Ranma's face prompted the band to play the rest of the musical number.

"The demon challenges me to a battle of music and of rhyme. I will tell right now that he's not even worth a minute of my time. I refuse to play his game and to everyone allow to show I am the very model of a victim of Jusenkyo."

Finishing the musical number he turned to the audience and winked at Akane. The audience was silent as Ranma jumped off the stage. Akane started to clap and was joined by Nabiki. Soon Ranma and Akuma found themselves absorbed in the applause of the audience. Akuma jumped off the stage and approached Ranma.

**"Not bad Saotome wouldn't you say Miss Tendo?"** Nabiki smiled as she put the video camera away.

"Please Akuma call me Nabiki." she said winking at Akuma and shocking both Ranma and Akane. They watched as Nabiki offered her arm to Akuma and allowed him to escort them back to their table. As everyone got seated Akuma raised his wine glass. Surprisingly their wine glasses were filled despite their ages.

**"I propose a toast to a truly surprising evening." **Ranma looked at Akuma with a curious look on his face.

"What do you mean surprising evening? You planned the entire performance?"

**"True,"** Akuma said still holding his wineglass. **"But I honestly didn't think you could sing that well."** Everyone laughed at the comment including Ranma who was secretly relived Akuma didn't try anything after Ranma shot down his challenge.

An hour later Akane was getting off the stage after finishing the song Wild like You (Ya Pa Pa to all us westerners).

"Hey our glasses are empty." Ranma blurted out a little happier than usual.

'Your right Ranma they are." Akane agreed also just a little too bubbly.

"I think you two have had enough." Nabiki interjected assuming the big sister role despite the fact she was also feeling a little light headed.

**"I'm afraid I have to agree I thought that a little wine wouldn't hurt too much. But you two obviously can't hold your liquor."** Akuma pointed out being surprisingly protective.

"What are talking about I can handle my liquor just fine." Akuma heard a pouting Akane say.

Nabiki grabbed her sister who was wobbling a bit. She looked over at Ranma who also seemed a little more uncoordinated than usual.

"All right you two I think its time to put you to bed." Akane giggled and looked at Ranma

"Whose bed," Ranma looked at his fiancé with a shit eater's grin.

"Yeah and which two?" he said glancing at Akuma as Akane glanced at Nabiki.

**"Come on you guys lets get you home the cabs already waiting for us."** Nabiki was surprised to see her partner assume the role of demonic chaperone.

_Maybe it's just the wine but I never really noticed how hot Akuma's horns really are. Well the ones I can see anyway._

Finally the four arrived home Ranma and Akane stumbled in first followed by Nabiki and Akuma.

**"Well I guess I better get going." **He stopped to see Nabiki still wearing her cocktail dress. Unlike the others Akuma could handle a glass of demon wine without ill effect. Still seeing Nabiki sitting on a chair removing her heels did have an effect on his third horn. Unfortunately this time he didn't have enough time to adjust himself Nabiki looked up to see the horny demon.

"Well there's a horn I wouldn't mind trying." Nabiki said as she swayed her hips back and forth approaching him. She walked right up close and draped her hands against it. Akuma grabbed her shoulders quickly and a little roughly. To Nabiki's surprise she didn't seem to mind the rough treatment. But what was even more surprising was Akuma gently pushed her away.

**"Miss Tendo, Nabiki I don't think that is a good idea.**

"Come on Akuma baby you told me earlier that you found me sexy and your lower monster confirms it." Akuma pulled her closer lust forming in his eyes. He scooped her up and proceeded towards her bedroom.

Meanwhile Ranma found himself with Akane in front of her room.

"Thank you Ranma I had a wonderful time tonight." she said reaching for the doorknob.

"I'm glad you enjoyed yourself I also had fun with you there." He reached for the doorknob to open the door for her when their hands touched. Akane quickly jumped up and kissed Ranma on the lips.

"Good night Ranma." Akane said going in her room and closing the door. Ranma just stood there so dazzled by the kiss he didn't notice Akuma carrying Nabiki to her bedroom.

Nabiki was getting excited as Akuma grabbed her chin and not to roughly raised her head. But she didn't care as she put her hands on her partner's chest. He brought her lips closer to his.

**"Nabiki I do want you but not like this. You're drunk it's the wine doing this not you."** He then kissed her forehead while muttering some words in a language Nabiki never heard before. She found her eyelids getting heavy and she collapsed on her bed.

"Akuma." She muttered as she fell asleep. The demon sighed as he closed her door and walked past the still stunned Ranma.

**"Go to bed kid she'll still be here in the morning."** Strangely enough Ranma didn't argue he just headed down the stairs. When Ranma was gone Akuma opened Akane's door. She somehow got her pajama's on and was cuddling next to P-Chan.

"Ranma." she muttered as a look of annoyance formed on the pig's face. Akuma smiled his upper lip twitching as he pulled a familiar small vial from his pocket.

The sun rose over the city of Nerima waking Ranma from his peaceful slumber. _She kissed me I can't believe she kissed me._ He rolled over and looked at the ceiling_. So what now?_ He smiled and rolled out off his floor mat. "Well I guess I better go wake her up and ask her," he said aloud while stretching. Ranma went up the stairs to her room.

Wow, look whose back

Ranma stopped and smiled at the duck. He then shook his head and knocked on the door.

"Akane are you awake?" Ranma asked quietly opening the door. He peaked into her bedroom to see Akane sleeping with her arm around a naked Ryoga. The world around him went dark as his heart suddenly appeared in front and like so much brittle glass it broke. Ranma shut the door quietly and went back to his room.

Once again a cold chill woke Ryoga. But this time he found himself in a well-lit room in a nice warm bed. He then felt a warm arm draped against his chest.

_Oh yeah I disguised myself as P-Chan to avoid all that craziness with Ukyo and Kuno. How did I end up in Ranma's clothes anyway?_ He then noticed the bump between his legs. _Oh no I'm human and right next to Akane! _

"Ranma is that you?" Akane asked starting to stir.

_Oh god she's waking up._ Ryoga panicked. _Cold water, need to find cold water. _

"Ranma are you trying to wake me with a kiss?" she said in a half sleepy flirty voice. Seeing her wake up Ryoga quickly opened her window and jumped into the back yard. He headed for the training pond when he found himself blocked by an angry Ranma.

"Here." he said throwing a pair of swim trunks at Ryoga. He put them on before anybody could see his fleshy parasol. Ranma didn't budge from the pond.

"I am only going to ask you this once one martial artist to another." Ryoga blinked in all their years of rivalry he never saw Ranma this angry before. He put on his best battle stance as Ranma continued. "Did you sleep with Akane?" Ryoga blinked at Ranma's question.

"Of course I did I always sleep with Akane when I visit you know that." Ranma approached Ryoga slowly looking like he planned on tearing Ryoga apart.

"Let me rephrase my question did you have sex with Akane?" Ryoga looked at Ranma with an annoyed look on his face.

"No Ranma, I am a man of honor and as a man of honor I am waiting for Akane and me to get married before I make love to Akane." Ranma grabbed Ryoga quickly by his trunks and pulled him close enough to look him in the eyes.

"You are not going to share a bed with her anymore. If you do I swear I'll let everybody know your connection with P-Chan including Akane. Do I make myself clear?" Before Ryoga could respond he found himself thrown into the pond. Emerging as P-Chan Ryoga watched as Ranma slowly walked away.

"Kasumi have you seen Ranma? Akane asked her oldest sister who was busy preparing lunch.

"No I haven't Akane, you two must have had a lot of fun if you slept in this late," her sister replied as Nabiki stepped into the kitchen. "Good morning Nabiki would you like some tea?" Kasumi asked pouring a cup.

"Coffee Kasumi," Nabiki said with her hand gripping her head between her fingers.

"You to huh," Akane asked her hung over sister. Nabiki didn't answer as she made herself a cup of coffee. The three sisters sat at the kitchen table.

"Great night last night so did Akuma try anything?" Akane asked her sister with a voice of concern.

"No he didn't try anything at all," Nabiki said almost sounding disappointed. The look on Akane's face prompted her to say more. "I'm fine Akane you know Akuma really isn't really that bad," Nabiki said sounding a little protective shocking both the sisters. She finished her coffee and went towards her room to look at the videotape she had made. As she left Kasumi let out her trademark catch phrase,

"Oh dear,"

Meanwhile a very emotionally distraught Ranma was walking down the streets of Nerima clouded in deep thought.

**"Maybe she knows and is just a kinky two timer." **Akuma words ran through Ranma's head as he walked. _She kissed me though it had to mean something didn't it. Also Ryoga said he didn't screw her and despite everything else about that idiot he's always respected Akane. Hasn't he? And Akane doesn't know, I mean she can't be that type of girl she, she just isn't that kind of person. But she was cuddling him and if Ryoga didn't sleep with her then how could he not realize that he wasn't human? I mean the only warm liquid a guy could sleep through is...*_

"Oh gross!" he said out loud raising his head he saw Shampoo walking towards him very slowly. _Oh no this is the last thing I need._ Shampoo approached him slowly and stopped just short of glomming range. Ranma looked at her face she was obviously upset about something. He was about to turn and run when he heard surprising words come from her mouth.

"Ranma wait please Shampoo want to talk." The desperation in her voice stopped Ranma from taking off. "Please Shampoo just want to talk." she repeated herself still sounding desperate.

"Gee Shampoo you sound really upset what happened are you okay?" Ranma's question caused Shampoo to have a flashback about the fight with Kodachi. She remembered how Kodachi had used Mousse's smoke bomb to escape. Pursuing Kodachi just a block away from the restaurant she saw Mousse still in duck form perched on a fence. Knowing, that when in duck form he was immune to the effects of the Sakuratu root she approached the depressed duck,

"Mousse where stupid laughing girl?" she asked expecting his cooperation. Instead the obviously hurt duck turned to her with an angry look on his duck face and flipped her the bird. This digit wasn't referring to the number one and Shampoo knew it. In shock she watched the duck angrily flew away.

"Stupid duck." she murmured she then focused her attention on Ranma. "Does Ranma love Shampoo?" she asked him with a look of desperation on her face.

Ranma looked into her eyes and was hesitant to answer. _Oh man look at her now what do I do? Be strong Ranma it's time to start acting like a man._

"I'm sorry Shampoo but I don't love you." he said with a clear and compassionate voice.

"But Ranma beat Shampoo in combat, Ranma and Shampoo are engaged." she said desperate to win his heart are at least guilt him into staying with her. Ranma took a deep breath and shook his head.

"If I knew defeating you in combat would have gotten us engaged I would have just let you hit me to protect Akane." The words struck her like a thunder clap her whole world fell apart she quickly tried to glom on to Ranma only to have him jump back quickly.

**"He did it to protect Akane."** The demon's words hit her heart so hard that her knees buckled and she broke down sobbing on the sidewalk.

Ranma turned his back and started walking away. _Don't turn around just keep walking it's the only way she's going to get the hint. _And without turning around he left the Chinese Amazon girl crying on the sidewalk.

The sun was already going down when Ranma decided to head home.

_It's time to be honest with more than just Shampoo. Akane and me have to talk. _A poster of Ryoga on a phone pole disrupted his reverie. Ranma ripped it off and looked at it. The picture was of Ryoga looking a little more sinister then usual. He read the writing under it

Wanted Alive (Crippled if Necessary)

For Sexual Deviance  
Huge Cash Award

If Seen Contact Either

The Kuno Estate or

Ukyo's

_What the heck did Ryoga do to get both Kuno and Ukyo after him?_ Then the words hit him. "Sexual deviance! Oh my god Akane." Ranma took off as fast as he could for home as the sun set over the hills.

At the Tendo household an exhausted P-Chan was having a miserable time in the living room hearing about Akane's wonderful date with Ranma and Nabiki questionable behavior regarding Akuma. Kasumi had already gone to bed since she had to wake up early to prepare her sisters lunches and breakfast. Also even though she didn't want to admit it to herself she didn't want to hear about dating and boys just now. Back in the living room P-Chan had finally had enough. He squirmed out of Akane's arms and went up the stairs to the Tendo sister's bedrooms.

Akuma was upstairs waiting by the bedroom door of the middle Tendo sister when he heard the pitter-patter of little piggy feet coming up the stairs.

**"I have a hunch,"** he whispered smiling. He then quickly switched Akane's door nameplate with Kasumi's. He then watched as an exhausted black piglet pushed his way into the eldest Tendo's daughter's bedroom. **"Strike three your out,"** he whispered pulling out the familiar vial of sleeping vapors he used on Ryoga twice before.

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

Ranma 1/2

Ranma's and Akane's Date pt 3

Previously on Ranma:

Ryoga barely survived fighting off both Kuno and Ukyo. Only to have them put a sizable bounty on his head. Seeing no choice but to lay low he assumed his secret identity of P-Chan the bed piggy. Meanwhile Ranma and Akane went on a double date with Akuma and Nabiki. Though he was forced to sing against his will both Ranma and Akane enjoyed their night out. So much in fact that they shared their first real kiss, unfortunately for Ryoga once again Akuma set him up so that Ranma would see him in bed with Akane. After confronting Ryoga Ranma took a walk. Shortly after breaking Shampoo's heart Ranma noticed the wanted poster that were made by Kuno and Ukyo. To make matters worse for The Eternal Lost Boy Akuma arranged it so he went to bed with the wrong Tendo sister.

Tired of waiting for Ranma, Akane went to her room. She changed into her pajamas and got into bed. _I wonder where P-Chan is. _The question didn't last as the Sandman took over Akane's mind and put her to sleep.

An hour later Ranma made it home. Without hesitation he ran straight to Akane's room and before he could be stopped by her little wooden spirit ward he opened her door. To his immense relief Akane was sound asleep with no sign of P-Chan or Ryoga. Stepping in her room quietly Ranma lay down besides her not covering himself in the blankets and just watched her sleep.

"Thank god you're all right. Don't worry beloved I won't let anyone hurt you," he whispered then kissed her gently on the lips as he took up his position as her guardian as she slept.

Shampoo finally arrived home both heartbroken and exhausted she planned on sleeping for a month forgetting the world existed. She still found tears forming in her eyes at Ranma rejection. And she knew the moment she broke down on the sidewalk she knew that that no matter what she did Ranma would never love her. She also realized that if she did anything to hurt Akane Ranma would kill her regardless if she was a woman or not. Wiping tears from her eyes she opened the door to the closed Cat Cafe. She was alarmed to see a familiar duck sitting on a stool with an envelope in his mouth.

_Maybe Shampoo should settle for Mousse,_ she thought to herself approaching the duck. The duck just stared at her but nodded his head indicating that the letter in his mouth was for Shampoo. "Mousse this letter for Shampoo?" She asked gently taking the letter from his bill. Mousse just nodded his head and let out one quiet quack of confirmation. Shampoo sat down and began reading the letter.

Dear Shampoo,

"I want you to know all my life I have loved you." She looked at Mousse realizing that somehow in his duck form he wrote this. "There wasn't anything I wouldn't have done for you. I was willing to fight and die for you. But I realized a long time ago you only see one thing when you look at me. And that thing is my glasses." Shampoo blinked and looked at Mousse who was remaining a calm posture. "I know that because of my bad eyesight you considered me weak despite my skill. But regardless I tried to win your heart, I followed you to Jusenkyo were I underwent this foul curse (no pun intended). Then I fought with Ranma and was even willing to swallow my pride and let him throw the match and let me win." She looked at Mousse and it finally clicked in her head. Mousse would always be there for her. She would never have to fight for Mousse's affection or worry about other women. All he cared about was his beloved Shampoo. _Stupid Sakuratu root,_ she mentally cursed. For the first time she wished that Mousse were chasing after her, but at the moment the only male that had affection for her was a duck with coke bottle glasses. She continued to read his letter. "But after Jusenkyo at best I was your pet duck. It took me until now to realize that the reason you kept me was because weather you wanted to admit are not you needed me. With Ranma constantly rejecting you, you needed someone to let you know how desirable you are. That there were still men that wanted to hold your hand, embrace you and kiss your passionate lips." Shampoo dropped the letter and started to weep. She suddenly hugged the duck. "Thank You Mousse Shampoo needed to hear that. And Shampoo so sorry promise to treat you better for now on." The duck just sighed and jumped off the stool and grabbed the letter in his bill. "There's more for Shampoo to read," She asked sitting on the floor. She noticed that Mousse was unusually tense as she continued to read. "Then I did something stupid and started this whole Sakuratu mess. Everything changed at that moment. Yes I know that the affection I feel for Kodachi when I'm a man is only a love spell. But unlike you Kodachi returned my affection without the influence of a love spell." Shampoo stood up and started pacing unable to tear her-self away from the letter. "And to tell you the truth I liked it. I liked not feeling weak and unworthy of affection from a beautiful woman. But you couldn't handle it could you; that your non-sexual gigolo could find love and happiness without you. This meant that you would have to accept that the man you love doesn't love you back." Shampoo started to tremble as she paced faster." And for the past two years you were just like me a pathetic loser who for years mistook a crush for love." Mousse looked at Shampoo a pitying look on his face. Shampoo crushed the letter in her hands and let it fall to the ground. She just stood there she didn't want to read the rest. She didn't want to do anything. "Mousse not mean this, Mousse you just upset, Shampoo promise to treat Mousse better." The duck just shook his head and slowly waddled towards the exit. Shampoo wanted to chase after him but she felt drained both physically and emotionally and she crumbled to the floor. "Mousse, please don't go Shampoo sorry, please," she called out desperately. But the duck had already left the cafe without looking back. And once again Shampoo found herself crying tears of heartbreak.

Akane felt something hard pressing against her back she rolled over to find a fully clothed Ranma. _What's Ranma doing here? Baka. _She was about to toss him out the window when he rolled on his back and started talking in his sleep.

"Akane," Ranma muttered in his sleep. She sighed as she looked at her fiancee A bruise on Ranma's face caught her attention. It was about the size of a small person's hand. _How did Ranma get that bruise on his face?_ She went for a closer look when his arm dragged her head down on his chest. Pinned to Ranma's chest Akane just laid there listening to Ranma's heartbeat. Instead of trying to fight her way free she instead snuggled up to Ranma and relaxed her head on his chest. _I guess this means that we're a couple. So what happens now? _Her pondering was interrupted by a high pitch scream coming from Kasumi's room.

Fifteen minutes before the scream Kasumi was sleeping soundly in her room. She dreamed that she was in her back yard hanging laundry when her suitor hugged her from behind.

"Kasumi my love," The strong male voice said as he embraced her. Kasumi just relaxed herself enjoying the hug from behind. She could see her suitor handsome face in her mind, His short brown hair, his clear blue eyes and most of all, his goofy smile. His hot breath brushed against her neck as she started to blush. The pair of hands around her waist moved a little higher. And before Kasumi could react, his right hand was on her breast.

"Oh Tofu!" she moaned passionately. She knew that they should wait for marriage but Kasumi had long been deprived the embrace of a man ever since her mother died. But with her youngest sister engaged and the other one developing a relationship with a morally questionable young man she felt that she could stop playing den mother for a couple of minutes. She was after all still a young woman despite being forced into the role of second mother to her sisters. "Tofu shouldn't we wait?" she asked not trying to remove his pleasurable grip.

"Oh Akane," she heard the voice whisper.

"Akane!" Kasumi blurted pulling out of the young man's grasp she turned around to question her suitor. To her horror the person who had her slightly aroused was not Tofu but instead the image of a naked Ryoga. Kasumi woke up only to still feel a strong hand fondling her breasts. She blushed as she traced the hand on her breast to its owner. Seeing a naked Ryoga in her bed Kasumi did the first thing that sprung to her mind and screamed.

Ryoga woke with a start to find his Akane wet dream replaced by a terrified Kasumi. "Wha," Ryoga blurted not quite aware of what was happening. Looking down his world

froze as he saw his hand on Kasumi's breast. His mind quickly tried to recall what happened. He remembered hiding out as P-Chan in the Tendo's house, and how annoyed he felt as he was forced to hear about her wonderful date with Ranma, Then Ranma threatening to expose his secret if he slept in Akane's bed ever again. He never saw Ranma so angry and to make things worse Kuno and Ukyo were also angry with him. They were so angry with him that they put a bounty on his head. Seeing the posters Ryoga decided to lay low as P-Chan until he found out why Kuno and Ukyo were so upset that Ryoga was found wearing Ranma's clothes. _Screw Ranma,_ he had thought heading towards Akane's room. But his words were still repeating in Ryoga's head.

"Did you have sex with Akane?" In his subconscious state the only words going through Ryoga's head was sex with Akane. Shortly after he had gone to sleep Akane came into the bedroom. Somehow his transformation back to a human was taking place while he slept and he felt a pair of lips kissing the back of his neck. He turned around to find Akane kissing him.

"Ryoga please make me a woman," she asked him. The wet dream was about to get to the good part when suddenly the horny Akane turned into the screaming Kasumi.

Like a bolt of lighting Akane and Ranma were out her room and heading towards Kasumi's room when they saw a naked Ryoga running out of Kasumi's room followed by Kasumi's lamp.

"Wait I can explain," Ryoga pleaded blocking the lamp. Unfortunately for all in the area Ryoga had to pull his arms away from his fleshy parasol to block the lamp.

"Oh my god," Hearing Akane's voice he turned to see that everybody was staring at him. He turned red as a teardrop formed behind his head.

"Yowsa now there's the full Monty." The voice of Nabiki appeared from behind them. Everyone turned to see her holding her new video camera.

"Ryoga baka!" Ranma screamed enraged and before Ryoga could move Ranma struck him with a fierce punch nearly caving in his nose. Panicking Ryoga pushed through the crowd and headed towards the stairs. While Ranma chased after Ryoga, Akane went to check on Kasumi.

"Kasumi," Akane said gently as she entered the room not knowing what to expect. She saw her sister wrapped in blankets rocking back and forth crying.

"Kasumi," Akane tone revealed the question she wanted to ask but Kasumi just rocked back and forth completely oblivious to the world around her. Akane approached her slowly and just hugged her gently.

"Get back here you perverted wretch," Ranma yelled at Ryoga who was still in the buff. _You're dead you sick perverted son of a bitch. _"You're dead you sick perverted child of a mangy dog." Ranma was too angry to care that the curse was still in effect. All he wanted at that moment was Ryoga's head. Ryoga on the other hand didn't want to fight Ranma at all.

"Wait Ranma please I can explain," he called out as he headed for the front exit.

"Explain what? That you went after Kasumi because you couldn't have Akane?"

"No I thought she was Akane."

"AARRRGHHHH I'm going to kill you." Ranma screamed out after hearing Ryoga's plan was to rape Akane. Ryoga saw there was no chance to reason with Ranma at the moment. He quickly ran outside and jumped into the bushes. He then remained quiet, as Ranma looked for him "I trusted you, as a martial artist I trusted you when you told me you didn't have sex with Akane." He turned his head still searching for the Eternal Lost Baka. "So what instead you molest them in their sleep. Come out and face me Ryoga being in the buff isn't going to save you now."

_Damn what am I going to do? Oh God I did think Kasumi was Akane, is Ranma right am I?_ Ryoga cringed at the thought of being a rapist. He quickly made a dash for the wall only to receive a flying jump kick that could have shattered his spine.

"I've got you now you God awful rouge." Ryoga didn't have time to puzzle over Ranma's chosen statement as he narrowly avoided getting his skull smashed. Thinking quickly Ryoga headed for the training pool. "Oh no, P-Chan isn't saving you this time," he said as he rushed at Ryoga. And just before Ranma could make contact Ryoga quickly ducked and foot swept Ranma into the training pool. By the time female Ranma emerged Ryoga was gone.

"Kasumi please talk to me did Ryoga hurt you?" Akane pleaded with her sister who just stayed very still. Akane didn't know what to do it was Kasumi who usually took care of them. _What am I going to tell dad I promised I would look after my sisters._ Tears started coming out of her eyes as she hugged her big sister. "It will be okay Kasumi I promise everything will be okay."

Nabiki watched from the doorframe of Kasumi's room unsure of what to do, she never really the consoling type.

"Um Akane is there anything I can do?" she asked hesitantly. Akane didn't answer, she didn't know how to. Nothing like this happened to them before which in some ways was a surprise with the old perv living with them for so long. "Look Akane I'll be in my room if you need anything." She left feeling helpless it was a feeling she didn't like at all. Through out her life Nabiki had always been in control of her feelings but this was the first time that she hated that control. She knew that she should be helping Akane console Kasumi but she felt too ashamed. _It could have been me. Kasumi is going through a nightmare right now and all I can think is that it could have been me._

"Why am I such a selfish bitch?" she cried out striking her dresser

**"Is that a trick question?"** The familiar voice of Akuma appeared behind her. Nabiki jumped and backed away from the demon that she tried to seduce last night. _That wasn't me it was the wine doing all those things. And that bastard he tried to take... _She was hit with a startling realization_. He didn't try anything with me in fact he had to fight me off._

**"Miss Tendo, Nabiki is everything all right? What happened? I heard the commotion and decided to avoid scaring everyone by talking to you first."** It was the first time Nabiki saw Akuma looking so awkward. She approached him trying to maintain a professional composure.

"So you think I'm a selfish bitch Akuma?" She asked trying to sound as cold as possible. The demon just stared at her not quite sure how to respond.

**"I think that you're, you, I haven't really had the pleasure of seeing anything besides your business savvy,"** He answered unsure of what to say. After what happened last night Akuma felt that he should be a little more careful around Nabiki.

"I see so in other words all you've seen me being is a selfish bitch." She turned away from Akuma as small tears starting forming in her eyes.

**"Now I didn't say that."** Akuma said starting to feel like Ranma in this conservation.

"It's okay Akuma you just call them like you see them I understand," Nabiki said sounding a little depressed.

**"That's right and one of the things I saw last night was two very attractive young women. And one of them had a very nice looking blue dress. I know it was yours. How much did Akane have to pay for it?" **The remark hurt Nabiki more then she thought it would.

"For your information you jerk I let Akane borrow the dress no charge. She wanted to look nice for Ranma. And before you brought up I only wore the dress I wore to keep you off guard." She turned and faced him hoping that her last words would deflate some of his demonic ego. Instead he approached her and took her hands gently as he could.

**"You let your younger sister borrow one of your dresses so she could look good for Ranma. And you lent it to her for free? Well that doesn't sound very selfish to me." **A look of surprise formed on Nabiki's face. She expected Akuma to insult her or discuss business with her. The last thing she was expecting was him to make it seem he was insulting her so she would realize that she wasn't as selfish as she was making herself out to be.

"Wha, Thank you Akuma." The tears started flowing from her eyes and she couldn't do anything to stop them. And before she could stop him Akuma hugged her. He wasn't trying to grope her or crush her instead this Demon from the Demon Underworld was hugging her gently and warding off her advances.

**"Its okay let it out, let it all out whatever happened it couldn't have been that bad."** Nabiki raised her head to look at him. He didn't have the cute grin as usual his face was more of a person who was concerned about someone he cared about.

"No Akuma it is that bad." Nabiki said sniffling.

Twenty minutes later Akuma had heard the entire story and in that time Nabiki didn't let him go.

**"Oh Nabiki I am sorry so very sorry I had no idea that Ryoga was capable of such a thing. I am so sorry," **he said squeezing her just a little tighter. Surprisingly Nabiki didn't seem to mind his arms around her. _**Jeez I just thought Ryoga would make an ass out of himself. I never meant for this to happen I feel awful. Oh oh I actually feel bad about this, oh no not again.**_ Akuma gently removed himself from Nabiki.

"Akuma?" she questioned as the demon pulled away.

**"There are some things I must take care of."** He turned to go but stopped before he reached her door. He took off his baseball cap and handed it to Nabiki. **"If you need anything, anything at all just put on the cap and think of me I'll be there before you can blink.**

"Please don't leave yet. Just stay a little while longer please." She pleaded surprising both herself and Akuma.

**"I don't think that's a good idea right now. You're feeling very vulnerable and I am still a demon."** He sighed. **"I was telling the truth last night when I told you I wanted to. It takes a lot of will power for a demon to turn off their lust."** He felt her hand touch his shoulder.

"Its okay Akuma I trust you not to try anything." She said motioning for him to sit down on the bed.

**"Like you trusted Ryoga not to try anything." **he said walking towards the door. Nabiki smiled at him.

"You're not Ryoga." Akuma sighed and shook his head.

**"No I'm a lot worse."** He then left her room and disappeared before Nabiki could stop him.

Concealed in the shadows Akuma watched as a female Ranma returned to the Tendo household. A look of concern was on her face. The demon quickly shook off the feelings of guilt forming in his. _**Oh no, I'm not going through this shit again, **_He thought with a fierce determination. He leapt from his hiding place and quickly headed for his thinking spot. _**Think evil thoughts you're a Demon from the Demon Underworld. You don't feel guilty about making people miserable. **_A smile formed on his face and his upper lip began to twitch.

Meanwhile a paranoid Ryoga quickly tried to find some cover literally. He tried to cover up his man parts with garbage can lids. _Got to find clothes_ he thought hiding in the bushes watching as people walked by. He waited until there were barely any people and he ran across the street. He looked towards the dark alley are more accurately at the clothes hanging on the roof. Using his strength he jumped to one wall and rebounded onto the other building across from it. He kept going until he reached the top. The sight of the clothes made him shudder it was all woman's wear.

"Oh man what am I going to do?" Ryoga questioned loudly. He sighed and settled for the least girly thing on the line.

Back at the Cat Cafe Shampoo was mixing a vile smelling concoction in the basement.

"No this no smell right!" Shampoo cursed as she looked at her grandma recipe book. She rubbed her red blood shot eyes and tried to focus on the recipe. Trying hard to ignore the note of rejection on the counter in front of her, finally she gave up. Frustrated that she had been up all night and no closer to the potion she was trying to make she tossed the book and cursed in Chinese.

**"You really should watch where you throw things,"** the familiar and despised scratchy voice said.

"Oh no, what you want?" Shampoo asked angrily.

**"I was going to ask if you had given up on Ranma yet,but from the desperate attempt at a love potion I see that you haven't" **Akuma said putting the book back on the shelf.

"Shampoo would never choose you," she said crossing her arms in disdain. _Besides love potion not for Ranma it for Shampoo but you not need to know that._

Akuma pulled his cap of his head and gave Shampoo a nod.

**"I see than I have no choice. To win your acceptance I must defeat Ranma in battle."**

"You never win Shampoo's acceptance love can not be forced."

**"Isn't that what you're trying to Ranma with that potion forcing love? In fact isn't that what you have been doing the whole time."**

Once again Akuma had struck a nerve in Shampoo by making her face the truth about herself.

"For stupid demon's information potion not for Ranma it for..." she stopped before risking the demon using the potion on her. Not that it would have mattered, the smell labeled it as an obvious failure. She unconsciously glanced at the note on the table. She changed her glance quickly but it was too late. The demon quietly noticed the note.

**"Still I must defeat Ranma only then will you see me as the stronger one."** he said putting his cap back on. Before Shampoo could stop him he opened the recipe book**. "Hmm now isn't this interesting why are you trying to make a potion that will cause a woman to fall in love with the first man she sees?"**

Shampoo grabbed the book from Akuma's hands "That none of demons business!" she said.

**"Very well I guess I better find Ranma."** he stepped out into the stairwell and was quickly followed by Shampoo. "Where he go?" Shampoo asked the empty stairwell. She ran upstairs hoping to catch him. As she left the pantry a demonic pair of eyes began reading a letter of rejection on the counter with a twitching upper lip.

Nabiki walked out of her room she was feeling a little better about herself even though she had no idea how to comfort Kasumi who had been just rocking back and forth for the past two hours. Also she had no idea what she was doing thinking about a more then business relationship with her demon partner.

"Hi Nabiki." a female Ranma said. How's Kasumi?" Nabiki was not used to Ranma showing this much open emotion. She was truly concerned about Kasumi.

"No change, you catch Ryoga" she asked hoping to hear about the molesters demise.

"No the uncivilized brute got away from me," she said in a regretful and annoyed voice. Akuma's curse was still in affect. Nabiki watched as Ranma started going to Kasumi's room. _Maybe I am not a selfish bitch but I think I can do better than this_ Nabiki thought to herself.

"Ranma I'm going to the kitchen do you think that I should bring something for Akane and Kasumi."

"That would be great Nabiki thanks." Ranma said half smiling at her future sister in law. She didn't wait for Nabiki to leave before knocking on the door. "Akane, Kasumi its Ranma can I come in." There was no response at first then Ranma heard Akane's voice.

"Come in Ranma." She entered the room to find Kasumi in a cationic state and her fiancé trying to console her. She kneeled down in front of her future sister in law.

"Kasumi its Ranma everything will be all right, don't worry Ryoga won't be coming back." She then turned to Akane "and how are you?" Akane just looked at her with regret and said nothing. Quietly Ranma spread her arms to hug her future family.

At the Kuno household Kodachi tossed and turned in her sleep. Images of a Chinese witch turning her beloved Mu Shu into a duck kept going over and over in her head. _She'll pay for this. _Kodachi thought _I'll see that Chinese bitch burn in hell for this._ She got up and looked at the mirror to see tears forming in her eyes. The mirror started looking like window into Kodachi's past.

Her father never made her feel good enough despite all the haircuts and uniform restrictions she endured. He obviously cared more for her brother. She learned by watching their relationship that if you love somebody you tie them up so they can't leave. And her mother spent too much time in France on business. Then when she was about eight years old her father received a letter telling her that she didn't love him anymore and that she was running off with a French gymnast. With the letter was a single crushed black rose. Kodachi secretly blamed her father if he would have tied her up like he was supposed to this would never have happened. Her father of course went into a deep depression disappearing into the night never to be seen again, leaving a humble little manservant to care for her and her brother.

She sighed and began brushing her hair as she walked away from the mirror. Sitting on her bed she began to remember what happened next.

When she was old enough she joined the gymnastic team practicing day after day until she became the best in Martial Arts Gymnastics. She also excelled in her French class and in her spare time she studied toxicology especially the effects of paralysis agents. All the while she denied the truth until it was too late and she transformed from Kodachi Kuno into the Black Rose, in a desperate attempt to find the mother that abandoned her. Meanwhile her brother buried himself in the family's samurai history, determined not to need anybody. He became the Blue Lighting of Forenkin High School. Then one night while trying to eliminate the opposition that would keep her from finding her mother her beloved Ranma rescued her. But he was clearly not interested in her. She saw that now, No matter how many times she paralyzed him, tied him up or let him play with Mr. Green Jeans. He would always run away from her.

Then she found a man who understands that true love is letting the woman who loves you tie you up and hang you upside down above a huge man eating alligator. But lately with Mu Shu maybe just maybe there's more to love than paralyzing your lover and sleeping next to him. "And now that Chinese Harlot cost me that. No I'll hunt her down and whip her with my special ribbon until she turns my beloved Mu Shu human again."

Meanwhile a duck with coke bottle glasses was also deep in thought as he waddled down the street. He had no real destination in his ducky depression. So he didn't care were he ended up. _It's not fair all I want is to be loved. Is that too much to ask?_ Thought the duck, He was so involved in thought that he didn't notice the figure following him in the shadows.

**"You know my depressed friend if you keep walking with your bill down you're going to end up pussy food, and I don't mean the good kind."** Mousse turned around to see his best friend Akuma standing behind him.

"Quack,quack!" Mousse spoke with tears fogging up his glasses.

**"Well you should care. After all what would Kodachi think if she saw you like this?"**

Mousse turned to him angrily and spoke in multiple quacks. Not noticing that despite the fact he was a duck Akuma understood him perfectly.

**"What do you mean that's the problem."** Akuma asked scooping the duck off the ground.

"Quack, Quack, quack, quack, quack," Mousse said sadly.

**"I'm sorry Mousse can we find some hot water so you can talk to me."** Mousse nodded in agreement.

_**Thank darkness,he's harder to understand then those retarded Pokemon but I bet he would probably taste a lot better.**_

It was two twenty eight when Mousse finally resumed his human form. He didn't even bother asking how his foreign friend snuck a duck into a public bath, or why Akuma was trying to stay as waist deep as possible in the tub.

**"So Kodachi knows you're a Jusenkyo victim?"** Akuma asked somehow keeping his oversized baseball cap dry in the hot tub.

"She rejected me as soon as she found out." Mousse sighed. His thoughts were filled with images of the Black Rose. "And its all because of that selfish bitch Shampoo."

Akuma eyes shot wide open he never thought he would hear those words come out of Mousse's mouth. _**Damn that Sakuratu root is strong as ever.**_

**"Do you still feel this way when you're a duck?"** Akuma asked still trying to hide beneath the water.

"No I feel hurt that she would do this. Also I don't feel as in love with Kodachi. I don't know why."

**"Because you idiot your being affected by an amazon love spell."** Akuma said calmly. **"In your human form you're not in love only chemically infatuated with Kodachi. While in your duck form your immune so your feelings for Shampoo and Kodachi are genuine. Remember that's why the stick monkey has you locked in a cage."**

"What how dare you say my love for Kodachi is not real." Mousse said standing up. But before he could even advance on Akuma the demon had already foot swept him back into the tub.

**"Calm down Mu Shu the last thing I want right now is Naked Kombat Battle in the Bath House."**

Mousse composed himself quickly and glowered at his friend.

**"Look Mu Shu I'm your friend. And friends are honest with each other; well I'm brutally honest with my friends."** As he said this he began slowly rising out of the tub.

"Do you really believe that the only reason I love Kodachi is because I'm under a love spell?"

**"No I believe the reason you're obsessed with Kodachi is because you're under a love spell. But true love shouldn't need a love spell in fact I think it's a pathetic use of **Three Thousand of Ancient Chinese Amazon History**".** Mousse couldn't help but smirk at Akuma perfect imitation of the old lady's voice. **"But I also think that you're starting to understand what true love is all about because of Kodachi."** _**Also the fact that you both seem to have years of pent- up sexual frustration and a bondage fetish can have something to do with it.**_

Mousse got out of the hot tub and began thinking about what Akuma was saying.

"If what you say is true, then how do I find out where my true feelings lie?" Akuma smiled showing his fangs. A towel was wrapped around his waist but Mousse couldn't help noticing the bump below Akuma's waist.

**"Turn back into a duck. I'm on my way to the Tendo Dojo to challenge Ranma for Shampoo. If you still love Kodachi it won't matter if I win or lose, if you love Shampoo I'll give her to you if I win."**

Mousse nodded in agreement as he got dressed once again pulling a robe out of nowhere. Akuma couldn't help but notice people in the change room were staring at his towel. He looked down to see a small pointy horn beginning to tear a hole in the towel. He turned to the group **"Jealous?"** he asked, as he got dressed.

During this time the Tendo, Saotome families were also having a revealing conversation.

"What!" Akane screamed once they reached her room. It took all her will power not to yell out in surprise when she found out about the wanted posters of Ryoga.

"And Ukyo and Kuno baby are both offering a cash reward for Ryoga's lower head?" Nabiki asked. Ranma nodded his head quietly. A fire lit in Akane's eyes.

"Nabiki can you stay and watch Kasumi?"

"I guess Akane why?" Nabiki asked. She wasn't sure she wanted to hear the answer.

"Because I'm going over to Kuno's and Ranma's going over to Ukyo"s,"

"I am?" Ranma asked in surprise. Akane turned to face him. She had a fierce look of determination on her face.

"Do you think Kuno will listen to you? Or Ukyo me," Akane asked her face only a couple of inches from Ranma's. "We're going to get them to give me the first crack at Ryoga."

"Akane," Nabiki said quietly. Ranma grabbed his fiancé's shoulders gently.

"Ryoga's tough I don't want him to hurt you." he said his words as gentle as his grip. Akane pulled from his grip.

"I have to do this Ranma. I'm the one who's always welcomed Ryoga in the past. I trusted him in this house with my family." Ranma opened his mouth to speak but she put a finger on his lips. "And I promised dad that I would take care of the family and its honor. That's why I have to do this. Promise me Ranma that if you find him you won't fight him unless I can't defeat him."

"But..."

"Promise me!"

Ranma looked at his future bride and saw the fierceness in her eyes. And at that moment he almost felt sorry for Ryoga. "All right I promise."

"Thank you Ranma." she said and then she hugged him tightly.

Ukyo looked at her watch_ almost four o clock and still no word about Ryoga._ She had only a couple of customers to serve. Business was always slow in November. _Still now that I think about it that SakuRatu powder had me convinced I loved Mousse. But still Ranma and Ryoga ick _She shook her head before images of Ranma and Ryoga ugly bumping (emphasis on the ugly) formed in her head. The door chime gratefully interrupted her musings. She looked up to see Ranma looking very concerned. At the same time Ranma looked at Ukyo who was looking at him with a depressed and worried look in her eyes. _My god Ranma_ thought _what did Ryoga do to her?_

Kuno looked at the clock as he practiced _almost four o clock and still no word about that fiend Ryoga Habiki._ He swung his sword in a complex series of moves that ended up taking the head off the dummy. Quickly he turned around into a kneeling thrust and shoved the blade between the dummies legs. _Oh my pig-tailed princesses where are you? What has that swine done with you?_ He shook his head before images of Ryoga violating the pig-tailed girl could fill his head.

"Sorry to interrupt your practice Master Kuno but Akane Tendo's here."

Kuno sighed and put the blade back in its holder. "Tell her I'm busy Sasuke." Sasuke was surprised to here Kuno dismiss his long time school obsession. _He's been acting really strangely lately and now this._

"Master, are you sure this is Akane Tendo we're talking about."

"There's only one woman I want to walk through that door and that's my pig tailed goddess." He went back to his practicing.

Two minutes later he heard a loud aggressive female voice screaming down the hall.

"Whatihati Kuno get your over inflated egotistical, samurai wanna be ass out here now."

Kuno sighed as he sheathed his sword and went to speak to Akane Tendo. He found her coming down the end of the hall with Sasukae gripping her leg and dusting the floor with his body.

"Akane Tendo I know you are deeply disappointed but please try to accept that I have chosen pig tailed girl. I know that it will be hard for you to move on at first but in time..."

"I don't give a fuck what your deluded little menage a trios obsessed gray matter thinks Kuno I'm here to talk about the bounty you have on Ryoga's head. I want the first shot at him."

Kuno looked at her face and saw the blood lust in her eyes. _The fiend wasn't my pig-tailed goddess enough, what kind of pervert desires two women?_

"Hello baby how's it going?" the young man asked the slender figure walking down the street. Her hair was black and cut short. She was wearing a purple blouse with a stylish pair of pumps. And on her neck she wore an un-matching bandanna tiger pattern. He approached her abruptly slapping her ass.

"Hey you sick pervert keep your hands off my ass." a masculine voice came from the female figure who had enough sexual harassment since they came down from the roof.

"Oh come on baby just one little kiss." the man the young man persisted. Before he could move he was smacked with a heavier than usual umbrella. The feminine figure was walking cautiously down the street with no real destination.

"That's no way to treat a lady." an attempt at a feminine voice came from the figure. She passed a couple of the wanted posters of the now dubbed Wandering Molester. _Great now what do I do? _A cross dressed Ryoga thought desperately _I have no choice I must do the honorable thing and marry Kasumi or accept my fate by her hands._ He sighed and prepared to go down to the Tendo dojo when he heard a little boy cry out.

"Look out lady" but it was too late as Ryoga fell victim to a child's water bomb. "Hey where did she go?" the little boy asked as P-Chan struggled his way out of the blouse.

"Come in Ranma" Ukyo said sullenly. He walked in and approached Ukyo.

"Is there anywhere we can talk in private?" he asked quietly with a sad look in his eyes. Ukyo walked over to the door and simultaneously locked and turned the open side over. She then pointed to a small table in the corner. Ranma sighed and took a seat.

"Ranma are you okay?" Ukyo asked giving him a cup of tea. He took a sip and cleared his throat.

"No Ukyo I'm not okay I don't think I'll be okay for a long time." he said a little anger seething through his quiet voice.

"Did Ryoga hurt you?" she asked not really wanting to know the answer.

"You could say he hurt all of us." he sighed squeezing his teacup so hard Ukyo was afraid it would break. He looked down at the table. "Ukyo I need you to do me a favor. Akane's over at Kuno's she wants the first crack at him."

Her eyes shot wide open. As she started thinking about how Ryoga hurt all of them. He then turned to her and saw fear and panic in her eyes. "Oh god did he hurt you to?" Ranma asked quickly grabbing Ukyo's hand.

"Let's just say I thought that I could trust him despite how drunk I am."

"Did he?"

"I'm not sure. I didn't think he was capable but now I don't know. He came in while I was sampling wines for customers and I guess I got carried away and..." Ranma quickly hugged her tightly and let the tears fall from her eyes.

"Its okay Ukyo-chan it's okay I won't allow him to continue doing this. Just let me have the first crack at him."

"Don't worry Akane Tendo I'll personally make sure that he'll never be allowed to continue these monstrous crimes." Kuno said in his self-righteous tone of voice. He quickly found himself being grabbed by his lapels and face to face with Akane.

"No he's mine and you are going to tell me when and if you receive any information about him. Because if you don't Whatihati I'll come back and do to you what I intend to do with him." She then threw him to the floor and put one hand around his throat. "Do we understand each other?"

"Yes Akane Tendo I understand." Kuno choked out. She released her grip on his throat and let him stand.

"One other thing Kuno, Ranma is over at Ukyo's probably asking her to tell him first when either of you hear about Ryoga. So if you hear anything you will make sure I am informed before Ukyo." She didn't wait for Kuno to respond as she showed her way out the door.

_I never thought to ask why Ukyo wants Ryoga in the first place. Oh god did he go after her first?_ Akane stopped as she saw the wanted posters regarding Ryoga. She hit the wall over and over again. The wall began to crack under the impact of her blows. She didn't know what do you. It wasn't everyday you learned that someone you considered your little brother turns out to be a rapist. Tears started to fall from her eyes as she realized that she did really care about Ryoga and now she was about to do something terrible to him. Honestly she didn't know what she was going to do to him. The familiar sight of her pet and sometimes-confident P-Chan interrupted her thoughts.

"P-Chan!" she squealed happy to see someone she could truly talk to.

"Bwee" a nervous P-Chan squealed to Akane. He knew he probably should have run but he had to confront this situation sometime. "Oh P-chan I'm so glad to see you." Akane said hugging her beloved pet. She then felt his bandanna rub against her arm. She saw the tiger pattern and immediately was reminded of Ryoga. "I'm sorry baby but I can't see this right now." she said nearly ripping the bandanna from his neck. "Oh P-Chan I don't know what to do. Ryoga tried to rape Kasumi and now she's just a wreck and I have no choice but to be the one to see Ryoga pays. When all his started I wanted to do all kind of terrible things to him."

An hour later P-Chan had heard more then enough examples of terrible things Ryoga would have to suffer through. _I'm going to be having nightmares for weeks._ Akane then got up and proceeded to take P-Chan home. _Well this is it_ he thought preparing to face a grisly fate.

"Kasumi, Kasumi can you hear me?" Nabiki asked her traumatized sister. "Come on Kasumi it's me it's..." she sighed. It's Little Biki." this actually did get a small reaction out of her; so Nabiki kept going. "You remember you called me that until I was thirteen. Man I can't tell you how I tired was of being Little Biki. I kept telling you not to call me that. Well now if you just say something you can call me Little Biki okay?" Kasumi blinked and looked up at her sister. Recognition started showing in her eyes. She slowly raised her hands to Nabiki's face. Her head turned as she started looking around her room. It had been cleaned as always but her lamp and her clock was missing. There were tears forming in her eyes she found herself wanting to hug Nabiki to be held and cared for a while. But she had been taking care of her sisters for a long time she wasn't sure how she was going to feel going to her younger sisters for comfort. Suddenly Nabiki hugged her tight. "Damn it Kasumi let it out you were just, just hurt by Ryoga." Nabiki was angry for the first time in a long while she was letting her emotions over ride her reason. She then suddenly felt Kasumi arms encircling her.

"Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaah" Kasumi broke down and started crying completely expecting Nabiki to back away instead she hugged her even tighter.

"That's right just let it out Little Biki's here just let it out." Nabiki spoke as softly she could. While hugging her sister Nabiki struggled to hold in her tears so she could be strong for her sister.

Meanwhile everybody was on his or her way to the Tendo Dojo. Ranma and Akane were returning to take care of Kasumi and continue their manhunt for Ryoga. P-Chan was with Akane determined to make things right with Kasumi no matter the cost. Mousse with a need to know what his true feelings were with him, Akuma determined to prove that he was a demon by destroying Shampoo, And Shampoo who was determined to protect Ranma from the demon.

Shampoo arrived first letting herself in she noticed that the very dumb Tendo sister didn't answer the door as usual. She quickly ran to the dojo hoping to stop Akuma before he hurt Ranma. When she arrived she was about ready to collapse. Sniffing herself she also realized she needed a shower.

"Kasumi, Nabiki I'm home." Akane said arriving shortly after Shampoo. She noticed that P-Chan seemed very nervous and he was struggling in her arms. As soon as she put him down he ran for the stairs leading to the sisters' bedrooms. But missed them and ended up in the bathroom instead. _I didn't know P-Chan was toilet trained._ Still feeling tense from all the hunting for Ryoga she headed towards the dojo to break several hundred bricks.

"Hey Akane." she heard Ranma's voice as he entered the house. She turned to see a drained look on Ranma's face. "Going to the Dojo?" Akane just nodded her head.

"I need to work off some of this stress," she said rolling her shoulders. A pair of strong hands gently grabbed her shoulders and started massaging them.

"Do you mind if I join you?" Ranma asked. In response Akane took his hands off her shoulders and led him to the dojo.

When they arrived at the training hall Ranma released her grip on his hand and turned to face her.

"So what do you want to do oooomph" He was surprised to find himself tackled by Akane who was now proceeding to kiss him before he could stop her. _Oh man this thing with Ryoga finally broke her I better stop thi... Oh but this feels so nice."_ Ranma's thoughts began to slip away as instinct took over. He wrapped his arms around Akane and both of them were soon in a serious lip lock.

A cold soaked cat came out of the shower to investigate the sounds of combat coming from the training hall. She arrived just in time to witness the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts make out attack. But from her vantage point, Shampoo couldn't tell who was attacking whom. She meowed out loud in contempt hoping Ranma's phobia would stop their Indiscriminate Lip and Tongue Grappling. But to her surprise Ranma and Akane didn't seem to notice the feline voyeur.

**"Well this was bound to happen sooner or later."** The scratchy voice said interrupting Ranma's obsession with Akane's molars. Both Ranma and Akane jumped up in surprise.

"Ah, ah, ah" they both said simultaneously. Both of their faces were as red as Akuma's hair. Finally Ranma composed himself enough to face Akuma.

"What in Hades do you want?" Ranma still curse affected tongue spoke.

**"I'm here to challenge you to combat for suitor ship of Shampoo."**

"What!" Both Ranma and Akane blurted out.

**"I have defeated the stick monkey but Shampoo still rejects me if I defeat you she will have no choice but to accept me." **Ranma clenched his fist looking at the demon and the duck in coke bottle glasses beside him.

"You can't force love!" he yelled at both eyeing Akuma and the duck. I am sick and tired of these stupid so-called courtship battles. You want Shampoo take her I never wanted her. In fact if you can find someone for Kodachi I would be very thankful."

Both Mousse and Shampoo listened very carefully to Ranma's words.

"I wish everyone would get it through their thick heads I love Akane." Everyone but Akuma's eyes shot wide open when he uttered those words. Including Ranma _oh man did I really say that in front of her. _He glanced over to see the shocked expression on Akanes face. _Oh geez now what do I do? Okay Ranma one thing at a time._

**"So you are saying that you forfeit Shampoo to me, that you won't fight me for her?" **Akuma asked noticing the cat hiding in the corner.

"Yes." Ranma answered very calmly. "I'm tired of being drugged, hypnotized and blackmailed into feeling something that isn't true." He unclenched his fists and turned his back to Akuma "I forfeit Shampoo to you." he then walked out of the training hall followed shortly by Akane.

Mousse went over Ranma's words over and over again. _Shampoo will never truly love me but Kodachi might._ He looked at the cat crying in the corner. He knew all he had to do was console her. _But then what live a life in Ranma's shadow_ the duck thought. At this time he saw the cat looking at him. It was a completely heart breaking look. It was asking for solace, comfort, and love.

"Meow?" the small sound was pleading and needy. Tears formed in Mousses eyes. This was the moment he was dreaming about his entire life. Now he realized that's all it was just a dream.

"Quack" he said apologetically and waddled away. Shampoo then saw Akuma kneel.

**"Come on Shampoo it's time to accept the reality that the person who used to love you has moved on. And the one you loved never loved you at all."** She hesitated for a moment then let Akuma scoop her up. At that moment she realized she didn't know where they were going and she didn't really care either.

Meanwhile P-Chan had found Kasumi's room and patiently waited for Nabiki to leave.

"Are you sure you're going to be okay Kasumi?" he heard Nabiki's voice ask Kasumi.

"Yes I'll be fine thank you Nabiki." Kasumi said sounding almost back to normal.

_Okay I have the clothes I borrowed from Ranma's room. So when I change back I won't scare Kasumi when I change back. _Quietly the little black pig pushed Kasumi's room ajar and quietly crept in. The door squeaked.

"Who's there?" Kasumi asked losing her grip on the hot teakettle. She turned around to see a wet naked Ryoga pushing the door closed.

"Nooooo get away from me!" Kasumi said panicking at the image before her.

"Kasumi please let me explain." Ryoga pleaded. But Kasumi backed away very slowly reaching for something to throw at him. All she could find was her pillow. Ryoga quickly took the pillow from accidentally pushing her on the bed. "Okay Kasumi listen..."

"Get away from my sister" Akane said just before she threw Ryoga to the floor. She kicked him in the chin so hard that his teeth flew out and she hit him with another hard kick to his face before they could land on the floor.

"Akane wait" Ryoga whispered coughing up blood. Her response was a left-handed punch followed by a right.

"Akane stop your going to kill him" Nabiki's voice pleaded as she try to pull her off Ryoga. Finally Nabiki was able to drag Akane off him.

"Thanks Nab..." But before he could finish the sentence the heel of Nabiki's shoe was planted in P-nus. Ryoga collapsed in pain.

"Kasumi call the police."

"No!" Akane shouted out.

"Akane you can't kill him. Don't throw your life away for this freak." As Nabiki was being the voice of reason she was also driving her knee into Ryoga's skull.

"I know Nabiki." Akane said clenching her knuckles "Kasumi; call Ukyo tell her we have Ryoga." But Kasumi just lay there crying. Then Ranma entered the room.

"Ryoga!" he screamed and grabbed and threw him out of Kasumi's room and over the railing of the stairs. He then jumped down and continued to pummel him.

"Ranma stop." a very calm Nabiki said. "Take him to the pantry and hold him there until Ukyo arrives.

Five minutes later Ryoga found himself tied up in every piece of rope they could find. A gag on his mouth kept him from speaking. _Oh man how am I going to convince them that this is all a big mistake?_ He shivered from the cold. The only thing he was wearing was a cloth covering up his wounded parasol. He then heard the door open and the sound of a female voice humming. _Oh great Ukyo's here._

"I'm sorry Ukyo's going to be a couple minutes late. It's really the strangest thing all the phones are disconnected. Well Ryoga that gives us a couple of minutes. Let's talk," the strangely sweeter than usual Kasumi said.

Ukyo was busy making her okynomyaki's. It was the only thing keeping her from thinking to deeply about the conversation she had with Ranma. She removed them from the grill rather quickly with the accomplished skill brought on by years of practice. Her customers were always pleased with her service. The restaurant had enough customers to keep her mind occupied. The bell rang and a young couple walked in they seemed happy enough. Just like her and Ranma could be. But Ranma had to ask her not to tell Akane if they found Ryoga, Had to protect Akane at all costs, and then had to ask her if she was okay. Ryoga seemed so earnest and gentle when she was drunk. But that was it she was drunk she didn't even remember him carrying her to her bed, "He hurt all of us." _What did Ranma honey mean by that?_ _Did Ryoga go after Akane? But if he was really affected like the stranger said he was than how come he didn't stay loyal to Ranma?_ Ukyo was now scared and confused. Akane wanted first crack at Ukyo so he obviously did something to the Tendo's. But the stranger said he heard sounds coming from the tool shed. The phone rang interrupting her puzzling.

"Hello Ukyo's" she said to the receiver.

"Ukyo its Nabiki we've got Ryoga we would have called sooner but the phones were all disconnected, almost as if he was planning this." Nabiki spoke more like she was talking to herself then to Ukyo.

"Planned what Nabiki did Ryoga do something to Ranma?"

"No not to Ranma. Look Ukyo I've got to go."

She hung up the phone and sat down in shock "Ryoga disconnected the phones at the Tendo's house like he was planning something? And Akane wants to be the first to kick his ass." Her eyes shot wide open as she realized what had happened. "Oh my god the Sakuratu has turned Ryoga into a horny sex fiend." she yelled out loud before picking up the phone. She dialed a number and waited for a response but all she got was an answering machine.

"You have reached the glorious Kuno residence I am busy meditating right now but if you leave a message I will get back to you when I can."

"Kuno you jackass it's Ukyo, Nabiki called they have Ryoga."

Ranma was fuming he wanted to kill Ryoga instead he had to settle for breaking a few hundred bricks while waiting for Ukyo to get her pound of flesh. Akane entered the dojo she was shaking as she watched Ranma smash the bricks.

"Ranma what are we going to do with Ryoga?" she asked quietly almost fearfully. Ranma stopped and turned to face her. He planned on telling her exactly what they were going to do with Ryoga. That's when the realization struck him. The question she was really asking could they do it? Could they really kill Ryoga. He unclenched his fists and let the tension leave his shoulders.

"I don't know Akane I really don't. All I know is that he went after Ukyo when she was drunk and went after Kasumi when she was sleeping." _And I have no idea what he would try to do you when you think he's P-Chan_.

"I know but don't you think there's something strange about all this. He's never done anything like this before."

"True; but how much do we really now about Ryoga?" Ranma interjected as he started pacing. "He came here to get revenge on me; he is terrible with directions so he ends up all over this country. So who knows really what he's done or what's been done to him." He looked out the open door facing the yard. "We never asked how he could always afford to be the Eternal Lost Boy. How does he afford food? Or all the souvenirs he sends you? What kind of job would keep him?" For the first time Ranma actually started thinking about Ryoga as more then just a nuisance. He actually started thinking that there was a chance that Ryoga was dangerous. How far was he willing to go to get what he desired? Ranma didn't even want to think about it. Which brought him back to the original question what are they going to do with him?

"We can't just turn him into the police it would destroy Kasumi's reputation. But we can't let him get away with it either. Damn it" she cursed striking wall with her uncontrolled brute strength. "Every time we get challenged for one stupid reason or another they always say to the death but we never take it seriously. It's become some stupid comic cliché and now here we are actually considering it." She looked at Ranma her eyes fighting to hold back tears.

"I don't think it would be a good idea for us to do this right now Akane you're vulnerable and not thinking straight." Ranma said not moving towards or away from her. Akane took a step towards Ranma. She looked at him he was nervous and confused. She knew he was right that playing tongue samurai might not be a good idea. But she also knew that despite everything that's happened in the past couple of years or anything that was going to happen in later years he would always be there for her.

"Ranma when you were yelling at Akuma did you mean what you said?"

He stopped cold this was the moment he was dreading. Looking into her eyes he wanted to runaway, or do or say something that would cause her to hit him.

"Akane I have something to confess. To get Akuma to cure you of the anti-sakasomething root I had to make a deal with him."

She stepped back and looked at him with concern. Her breathing was getting a little heavier. "What kind of deal?" she asked not sure she wanted the answer.

"I had to take you out on a nice date. Which I didn't mind doing I really enjoyed myself." he interjected quickly. "But to be able to afford it I had to let Akuma cast a spell on me. You've noticed how my cursing as been taking a censored turn lately," She nodded her head and let him continue "Well I don't remember what it's called but basically it keeps me from saying anything to offensive. That way I wouldn't have made a fool of myself on our date."

"You can't curse at all?" Akane ask skeptically

"Do you really think I wanted to use the word fool" he replied dryly. He sighed "Anyway the reason I'm telling you this is because I know myself and you would have found out sooner or later. And then you would start wondering if everything I said to you was because of the spell. "Akane I do love you, I don't know when it happened or how, nor do I care but I did fall in love with you. And I don't want this relationship to stretch out for years with nothing changing between us, Fighting new rivals and new fiancés just to continue a love story gone dry."

"Is all what you're telling me really true?" she asked her face going from concerned to contemplative.

"Yes it is. I don't think I could have said it like this without the spells help though." he said with a sigh.

She walked up to him slowly and looked into his eyes until they were both transfixed on each other.

"Ranma if everything you said is true and you really do love me, then kiss me gently just once."

"Right now," Ranma asked in surprise.

"No when Ukyo gets here I prefer an audience. Yes now dummy."

Ranma gulped and bent down to kiss Akane's waiting lips. _Oh man this was a lot easier when I didn't know it was going to happen, _he thought wishing Akane just would tackle him again. _Oh well here goes,_ he bent down about to press his lips onto hers when suddenly a loud scream came from the cellar.

"That was Kasumi!" Ranma said and he left Akane standing there for a half a second. Akane opened her eyes to see Ranma fleeing towards the screaming. She quickly shook her head and chased after him. Ranma flung the door to the pantry wide open. Splash he was struck with cold water. _What the hell? _The now female Ranma thought. Akane saw Ranma laying on the floor in female form in front of him a large geyser of cold water.

"Kasumi what's going on?" Akane shouted. She finally saw the source of the Ranma's watery assault. One of the water pipes in the cellar was broken.

"I don't know what happened I came down to check on Ryoga. And I saw him smash the pipe and now he's gone.

"What!" Akane aspirated she quickly searched the flooding pantry only to find that Ryoga had somehow slipped through his bonds. Some of them were broken but the chains were untouched. The water stopped suddenly as Ranma got up. _Great just great he broke the pipe to become P-Chan and slip through the bonds. Well he's not using the pig to cover his perverted ass anymore._

"Is everybody all right?" Nabiki asked coming into the pantry. "I turned off the main water valve as soon as I saw the pipe. Geez it's going to cost a lot of money to get this damage repaired. Ranma coughed a bit and tried her best to wring the cold water from her clothes.

"All right everybody this is what we're going to do. First were going to get everybody assembled on this manhunt including Kuno. Then were going to hunt him down and see that he can never hurt anybody again."

"I still don't know how Ryoga escaped?" Akane said angry at the fact that she didn't take more precautions.

"I believe I do." Ranma said glaring at the escape site. "And I'll fill everybody in at the meeting.

It was almost eight-o clock when all the people involved in the manhunt arrived. Kuno and Ukyo were strangely quiet around Ranma and Akane. Ukyo looked at the other two Tendo sisters. _Did Ryoga go after all the woman here?_ She shook her head not wanting to imagine the horror that they all had to go through. Kuno on the other hand was eyeing Ranma curiously_. Is Saotome really the kind of man who prefers both men and women?_ He was almost tempted to ask but one look at Akane and he thought better of it. Nabiki walked in with a clipboard.

"Alright everybody's here, good now if you all will assemble in the kitchen we can get this meeting under way.

"Forget the meeting, Nabiki Tendo, just tell me were that scoundrel Ryoga Habiki is and I, er I mean Akane Tendo will do the rest."

"He escaped." Akane said quietly through gritted teeth. "I don't know how but the son of a bitch escaped.

"I know how," a male Ranma said and if we start the meeting in the kitchen I'll explain everything."

Meanwhile P-Chan ended up lost again and in a very bad part of the neighborhood. Halfway down in alley he was surprised by the sound of falling garbage cans. Quickly he turned and saw a duck with coke bottle glasses stumbling around. In his wing was a bottle of Sake.

"Squee?" he vocalized surprised to see the duck as drunk as a skunk.

"Quack quack" Mousse said not caring if he was understood. He motioned the bottle towards P-Chan.

"Squee, squee, squee." the pig said flatly refusing the bottle.

"Quack" the duck shrugged and took another shot.

"Will you take a look at tis" a drunken bald man had appeared at the end of the alley. "You two look absolutely delicis." He approached the drunken duck and the little pig on the lam his jaw watering at the prospects of a very good meal.

Everybody seated themselves at the kitchen table. Ukyo and Kuno sat at one side Nabiki and Akane sat at the other end. At the head of the table was Ranma.

"Alright then were all here for one reason to hunt down Ryoga." Ranma said trying to keep his emotions in check. "But if were going to do this right then there is something I need to tell you." He looked at Akane and let out a few deep breaths. _This is it, I'm sorry Akane_. "Ryoga has had a secret that he's been keeping from all of you. And I foolishly kept it with him because I thought despite our mutual dislike of each other I felt he could be trusted."

"What it is it Ranma?" Akane asked both curious and impatient. _Ranma was keeping a secret from me about Ryoga, all this time why?_

"Akane's right; quit stalling and tell us what we need to know." Ranma let out one last deep breath.

"Okay Ryoga's also P..." he stopped unable to continue his revelation. Everyone looked at him impatiently and Nabiki even started tapping her fingers on the table.

"Out with Ranma Saotome" Kuno said reaching for his sword.

"Ryoga is also P..." _what the hell is going on; why can't I tell them that Ryoga's also P-Chan?_ Then it dawned on him _shit the curse I can't say anything hurtful or something. Telling Ryoga's secret would hurt him._

"Damn it Ranma he also perverted we all know that," Akane said angrily.

_And Akane, How would she feel knowing that Ryoga's seen her naked enough times. She might even wonder if Royga ever... _

"Darn it I can't I'm sorry I want to get Ryoga as badly as all of you maybe worse but I can't tell you Ryoga's secret. I gave my word." he looked down in frustration clenching his fists. A strong clamped down on his shoulder.

"I don't like you that much Ranma Saotome but I can respect a man who can keep his word of honor."

Ranma looked up "Kuno" he started.

"Before you to start making out again may I remind we are hunting Ryoga" Ukyo said pounding the kitchen table. Ranma's face went red as memories of him enjoying kissing Kuno came flooding back.

"Ukyo's right Ranma you want to keep your honor fine I can understand that. But it doesn't change the fact that Ryoga must pay."

An hour later they were still at the table. An air of hopelessness was filling the room.

"Damn it this isn't working. The reason we can't find Ryoga is because the damn idiot gets lost to easily. We can't make out a pattern to his movements because there isn't one. She strained her shoulders until she felt her fiancé start massaging her.

"I know it seems helpless but there has got to be a way to find him." Ranma said so focused on Ryoga that he didn't notice the stares he was getting from Nabiki and Ukyo were giving him as he massaged his future bride to be.

"Yeah but you think a guy who dresses like he does and carries a red parasol would attract some attention especially with a cash reward on his head." Nabiki said stretching. She yawned it had been a long day and she was about ready for bed.

"It's been a long night why don't we get some rest and pick up were we left off after school. Ranma said surprisingly charismatic

"Sounds good to me I'm bushed." Nabiki said.

"Alright fine we will meet tomorrow at..." his words cut short by a metal tray hitting him in the head.

"Oh dear did I do that?" Kasumi asked holding the snack tray. I'm sorry I just thought everyone would like some cake and tea.

"A cup of tea would be wonderful Kasumi Tendo." Kuno said still sitting in his meditative pose. Suddenly he jumped up as Kasumi started pouring the hot tea in his lap.

"Oh dear I'm so sorry." Kasumi said not stopping.

"That's quite all right Kasumi Tendo. We're all fatigued." he said keeping his distance from the tea kettle. He quickly then left the kitchen followed by Ukyo and Ranma.

"Kasumi are you sure you're alright? You don't have to serve us." Akane asked her older sister.

"I'm fine Akane really it was just a silly accident." Kasumi replied in her usual pleasant tone Akane nodded her head and followed Nabiki upstairs. Kasumi waited until they were all gone then began cleaning the kitchen humming a little tune.

"Can you believe that frunken dunk wanted to eat us" asked Ryoga looking slightly intoxicated.

"Yeah and the fact that his boup was mostly surbon didn't help him notice we was human." An even more intoxicated Mousse replied. They both found themselves in a park sharing a stolen bottle of some kind of liquor.

"Sho whys you drunk in the first place Moussey," Ryoga asked finally unable to stand anymore.

"I ws rejected by my beloved Sodachi after that bish Kampoo exposeed my secret. He started to drunkenly tell the story of what happened at the restaurant. Ryoga listened carefully as he could.

"Ouch that's harsh man do you shink thers'e any chance u two will make it work."

'I goin give a try." Mousse responded so what abou you what's got you so down that you end up in a park with a dunk druck?"

"I'm a pig on the lam," he giggled as he said this. "There's a fucken bouty on my head."

"O really," Mousse asked half-conscious "why?" It was Ryoga's turn to be the blitzed storyteller. Ryoga recanted everything that happened to him to his booze mate.

"Oh man did you really feel up Kashumi thinking she was a horny Akanee?

"Yeah,"

"So whats she like Kasumi I mean?"

"Kind of firm but sensitvie at the same, Hey wait a minut you perverted fowl."

Mousse could barely stand to worry about Ryoga's drunken attempt to attack him. "Ah hell I admis that shes was a goods feel. But nows I have ti marry her."

"Yu are goin marry Kashime?"

"Honer demands it." Mousse struggled to stand up. Finally after a couple of minutes he was able to stand.

"Lets me tell you something abouts a womans honor. They can fuk you up litterly and figuritively. The cunts can sleep with any man and tell him to be silent. But what's about a man's hinor. Does a womna askes us how we feel being a tie me up Ken doll. Does she ask can I rub my nakeds body aginast you. ANd worshe of all do you mind if I say anothers man name in my slep.

"Tell me about it." Ryoga said "I spend nights with Akane and she ends up mutteron his mane nit my his." Ryoga said in a quiet drunken rage.

"Yeah its always his mane, over and over and over again.

"Ranma" they both said simultaneously.

"I really am shick of chasing after Aknae whiel she wet dreaming about Ranma.

"And keping guys like us from love by seducin all the woman ihn this strinking city.

"You knows what we should gets the hekk out of here. Goes on a roads trip wheres there is no Ranma. I'll drive." Ryoga said finally falling down.

"Like heall you will I'll drive you navifagate. Mousse said falling down next to him.

"Oh man your letting me navigate your realy fucked ip. They both started laughing like a couple of drunken idiots, when they noticed a small crowd of people looking at them in shock.

"What's your problim yu never see a drunk duck and pig before?' Ryoga blurted out to the crowd. He started crawling towards them "Squee Squee" his human throat began making mock piggy noises.

"Quack quack" Mousse yelled as he did a drunken duck perch.

"Hey isn't that the guy who's on the wanted posters?" one of them asked pointing at Ryoga.

"Yeah let's hurry and find a pay phone" another said pulling at his friend arm.

"Karrie stop staring at him please." the fourth said to a blue-eyed blonde in a schoolgirl's uniform. "This isn't a cheesy hentai. They could both be dangerous." Finally she was able to drag her friend away from the naked drunks. A pay phone was quickly located.

"Damn only an answering machine." he said as he left information regarding the ambiguously drunken duo.

Nabiki was getting ready for bed when she noticed the baseball cap with the letter A on it. She took it in her hands and smiled a little. _A demon can come in handy hunting down a perverted idiot_. Sitting down on her bed she couldn't help remember that last words she said to him _he said he was not Ryoga that he was worse. So why do I have a hard time believing that._ The cap twirled on her finger as she remembered Akuma's instructions to her. _I don't need to see him right now._ Then to her surprise she put the cap on her head and went to bed. _Still I wonder where he is right now._ Sleep overtook her and soon she was unconscious. She didn't recognize the hotel room all she knew that by the sounds in the bedroom someone was going at it. She found that concentrating on the door she could peek inside. _What the hell it could be profitable._ Quietly and without any real form to make any noise with she peeked into the room. A woman's voice was trying to hold back moans and screams. The voice was familiar to Nabiki she crept in closer to get a better look. The woman turned her head from under the average looking figure on top of here. _Holy shit, Shampoo,_ Nabiki blurted out loud luckily she had no form to allow her a voice. _Looks like Mousse finally got lucky. _But looking closer out of perverse curiosity she noticed his hair was too short to be Mousse. _So who is finally getting a rinse if it's not Mousse?_ On closer look the figure looked more like Ranma. _He won't fight for her but he'll fuck her. _Then she caught site of two bumps sticking out of his head. _Shampoo plays rougher then I thought._ Her eyes' suddenly shot wide open when she realized those weren't bumps but a pair of protruding horns sticking out of is head.

_Akuma!_ Nabiki blurted out in complete surprise. The figure turned his head to as if he could see her then went back to getting his third horn shampooed. Nabiki woke up with a start.

"Just a dream." she muttered rubbing her head and found she was still wearing the baseball cap Akuma gave her. She took it off and tossed it on the dresser. Then she went back to sleep.

"Are you sure about this Mistress Kodachi?" Sasukae asked the Kuno daughter.

"Just get it Sasukae." Kodachi ordered with a venomous tongue. Sasukae sighed as he went into the Kuno's family vault. He cringed as he reached for a pitch black box.

"Please Mistress I beg of you this can only bring you the same sorrow it brought your family when your, when she dawned it."

Kodachi took the box without a word and proceeded to her room. She completely ignored the whimpering manservant_. Oh I wish master Kuno were here to stop this_. He thought as he closed up the family vault.

In her room Kodachi took a closer look at the contents in the box. It was the only thing she didn't use as the Black Rose. Now she had no choice the one saving grace she had from being a true dark rose is she kept her heart open to love. But to save the man she was beginning to truly love she would have to dawn the garb and mantle of the Dark Rose. "There is no real choice that foolish Chinese witch won't stop until one of us is destroyed then fine." Saying this she reached into the box and pulled out the cursed Kuno weapons that her parents locked away so many years ago.

"Ugn" Shampoo grunted as she woke from her bed. _Wait a minute this no Shampoo's bed._ She also noticed a slight chill she looked under the covers to find she wasn't wearing a stitch of clothes on her body. _What going on Shampoo remember stupid demon carrying Shampoo away._ Her mind drifted back to what happened afterwards. Akuma had somehow checked them in to a hotel room. She remembered protesting against a shower. The demon however just gently put her in the tub and turned on the hot water. He carefully washed her. His caress was gentle and careful. She remembered blushing and feeling guilty about the pleasure she was feeling. _Wait why Shampoo feel guilty Ranma not want Shampoo, Mu Shu not want Shampoo, Akuma not only want Shampoo but is making Shampoo feel wanted._ Turning around she looked at the demon's black eyes and before either of them could stop she kissed him. The demon was surprised for a full five seconds and then he kissed her back. "Does Akuma want Shampoo? Need Shampoo?" she asked pleadingly.

**"Yes" **he answered gently rinsing her vessel. **"I find you incredibly desirable,"** he said in a deep yet gentle demon like voice.

And so she let him take her to his bed, she allowed him to make love to her and she allowed herself to enjoy it. To forget all her Amazon discipline and just be a woman with her new demon suitor. She was actually surprised to find that he was not at all like the demons she seen on those cheesy Hentai videos. He was gentle with her and only firm when she asked him to be. And when they finished Shampoo found it impossible to move for a while so she gave up and went to sleep.

"Akuma?" Shampoo spoke out searching for her demon lover.

**"I'm right here,"** he said in his usual sounding voice. She turned her head to see Akuma already dressed and writing something in his note pad.

"Akuma please help Shampoo to bathtub please? Still find it hard to move."

**"Sorry baby no can do I have to get going."** the demon said putting away his notebook.

"Going where you go?" Shampoo asked struggling to get up.

**"You know business,wards to sell;more Chinese bimbo's to seduce that kind of thing.**

"What, No you love Shampoo you said you desire Shampoo, you need Shampoo" she said in disbelief.

**"Yeah and I had Shampoo now its time to move on to a different brand. Maybe something with a little more experience."** the demon said nonchalantly as he went towards the door.

"But Shampoo not understand was Shampoo not good?" she said beginning to get some feel in her legs back.

**"You were alright for a beginner who knows maybe after you get a little practice I'll come see you again.** He was already half way out the door when Shampoo lunged out of the bed.

"No Akuma can't go, Akuma's Shampoo's new fiancé," she said desperately trying to cover up her body as much as she could.

**"Fiancé, I'm sorry honey but you weren't that good. Darkness you Amazon Bitches really need to get a clue."** And after those harsh words he left the naked amazon lying on the floor. Shampoo just stared at the floor unsure of what to do next. The only man who made her feel desirable and wanted no longer loved her, the man she loved never loved her, and the creature that made her a woman just used her then left her lying on the floor like a common street whore. Not being able to think of anything else Shampoo put her head down on the floor and cried.

"Hey sleeping blindly wake up" Mousse heard someone say. The voice was gruff and full of authority

"Wha" he said as he stirred slowly trying to get a bearing on his location. His head hurt

and his stomach was also not feeling so hot. He found himself wearing a brown t-shirt

and a pair of blue boxers with white stripes. He felt around for a pair of glasses but he couldn't find any.

"Where am I?"

"County lock up." the voice said. "Your accomplice left you to rot."

Mousse shook his head slowly "Accomplice?"

"Yeah you sick fuck the Wondering Molester. You know I've locked up some sick sons of bitches in my time, but you guys take the cake." Mousse rolled off the cot and tried to make his way to the bars.

"What the hell are you talking about?" he reached the bars only to find himself bluntly pushed away.

"Yeah that's right I forgot you and your buddy were found drunk and naked with no sign on any clothes. "What happened boy? Did she run? From the looks of it she escaped."

"Wait you think that I was? Oh god no listen there's been a huge mistake!" Mousse said trying to get up.

"Yeah, well unfortunately your raspy sounding lawyer convinced the brass that to." as the guard said this Mousse heard the door unlock.

"My lawyer," Mousse asked out loud.

**"Yeah you know your lawyer."** Akuma said surprising the guard. He turned to face him **"Now I hope I'm not witnessing an unnecessary use of force."**

"Get him out of here." the guard said through gritted teeth.

Nabiki stretched as she woke up.

**"Good Morning Nabiki"** her business only partner greeted her.

"Oh good morning Akuma" Nabiki said. She was determined not to let him know he surprised her. So instead she rose like she expected him there_. Like an old friend or a lover, Ack I'm doing it again._ She looked to see him in a gray pinstripe suit with matching pants. "What's with the suit?"

**"Oh I just had to bail Mousse out of jail. The idiot went out drinking with Ryoga. He's just lucky I returned home in time after fucking Shampoo."**

"Ryoga? Does Mousse know where he is right now?"

**"No he kind of ditched Mousse in the park."** Hearing this Nabiki quickly ran to get the Nabiki Hunters. _**It didn't even bother her to hear I slept with Shampoo. **_He thought to himself. _**Oh for inferno sakes Akuma you sound like a high school virgin.**_ Sighing to himself he left the Tendo home.

TBC


End file.
